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“I don’t care,” I say, and I don’t. All I care about is missing Eli and wondering why I wasn’t good enough for him while trying, and failing, to drink the pain away.
“Fucking finally,” Johnny says. I don’t bother looking up to see who he’s talking to. I don’t really care. “I didn’t think you’d ever get here.”
“Neither did I.”
My head shoots up at the voice and there, standing in front of my table, is Eli.
“I’m outta here,” Johnny announces, and neither Eli nor I bother to say goodbye. As far as I’m concerned, the only person in the room right now is Eli.
He just stares at me, biting his lip. He does that when that big brain of his is overloaded, so I help him out with a summary of the last forty-eight hours.
“You left me,” I say, unable to keep the drunk tears from welling up in my eyes and my lip from sticking out.
He swallows and takes a deep breath. “I know.” This time it’s his eyes that fill with tears. “I got scared. I thought I’d lost you when the shed blew up. It brought up a lot of fears of losing another person I love.”
Eli’s words take a second to filter through the bottles of tequila I’ve downed over the last two days. “Did you say love?”
He nods, and as he speaks, his voice breaks. “I love you, Jeb. I—”
“Let’s get out of here,” I say, not needing anything else from him. “Take me home.”
* * *
Johnny is right. The Four Seasons Lexington is not happy with me. Especially when I come weaving back into the hotel with Eli trying to support me. At least I’m not crying tonight. Instead, I’m sporting a dopey, lovesick smile as security escorts us to our suite.
As soon as we get inside, Eli maneuvers me into the shower. I pull him in with me still fully clothed. Watching him as he’s forced to peel his soaking wet garments off and drape them across the towel rack, I get hard. I look down at myself with surprise. I guess wet, naked, in love with me Eli counters whiskey dick, or more appropriately, tequila dick, any day.
I ignore it, because right now, I crave something else from Eli. I cage him in the circle of my arms and hug him as tightly as I can. This is what I need. Skin to skin, his heart beating against mine, and his head resting against the curve of my neck.
For the first time since I found out he left, I can take a full breath.
When the water turns ice cold, Eli leads me out of the shower, towels us both dry and we collapse into bed. I pull him into me, and with a deep sigh, he nestles into my arms. I’m pretty sure we’re both asleep in seconds.
I awake to the glorious smell of food. By all rights, I should be as hungover as I was yesterday, but I wake feeling like a million dollars.
I can personally vouch that a million dollars, in fact, feels really damned good.
Eli is sitting at the table sipping an energy drink, fully dressed.There he goes, insisting on clothes again.
“Morning,” I say, getting out of bed and strolling naked to the table, sitting beside him while totally enjoying the way his eyes hungrily followed me the entire time.
I pick up a chocolate croissant and greedily bite into it. I hold out the rest of it for Eli, who shyly takes a bite of it.
I fix us plates from the smorgasbord he ordered for us. This is unlike Eli. He’s always so distracted with the thousand things on his mind that he never thinks to feed himself, let alone me.
The whole time we eat, he keeps glancing at me nervously. I finally put my fork down.
“What’s wrong?”
Eli looks down and studies his hands. When he looks up, he’s biting his lip. “Aren’t you mad at me? I left you when you were sick. Recovering from something that happened to you because you were trying to keep me safe.”
“Maybe I was yesterday,” I admit. “But I was more heartbroken than anything else, and you fixed that by coming back and telling me you love me.” I reach out to pull him toward me, but he pulls away and stands up.
“That’s not right though,” Eli says in a stubborn voice. “You deserve more than someone who runs off when you need him.”
“Is that what you’re trying to do now, Eli? Leave me again?” I ask in a quiet voice and hold my breath while I wait for his answer.
“No, but I want to give you the kind of love you deserve. I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m kinda broken sometimes.”
