AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I chuckle. “You know, it’s just crazy enough that it might work.” If anything, the memory will make me laugh instead of throwing up or peeing my pants. “Maybe we can meet later?”
Archer lifts his brows. “Why not now?”
“I don’t have my guitar. It’s back in the cabin.”
“I’m done eating.” Archer chucks his trash into the bag at his side. “I’ll go grab it while you yahoos finish up.” He pushes himself off the tire, jumping to the ground and jogging off.
“So,” Jake shoves a final bite of sandwich into his mouth, ignoring the napkin next to him and rubbing his hands on his pants. “Why even pursue this whole singing thing if you have such bad stage fright?”
I crumple up the empty bag of chips in my hand. “I made a promise to a friend.”
His brows lift. “Must be some friend.”
“He was my best friend.”
Jake’s gaze sharpens. “What happened to him?”
My use of past tense didn’t slip by him.
I take a bite of my sandwich and consider how much to share. Blunt truth might be the best option. Jake’s been through his own hell, and I think he needs honesty. The same way Mindy uses her anger toward Taylor as a shield, Jake uses humor and a blasé attitude toward everything.
“Suicide. He was sixteen.”
His mouth pops open in surprise. “Jesus,” he curses.
“No, his name was Kevin.”
His answering smile is fleeting.
“After Kevin died, I struggled for a while. I made some really bad decisions.”
He grunts in acknowledgment. “I’m sure Mindy’s told you all about my problems and bad decisions.”
“She didn’t. It was sort of obvious the other night at dinner.”
His lips purse in thought.
“I’ve been sober since about a year after Kevin’s death, so a little over ten years,” I add.
His head shoots up, eyes wide. “You were so young.”
“And stupid. I wanted nothing more than escape. So I fell into drugs and booze and anything I could get my hands on. Thankfully, it wasn’t for an extended period of time but long enough to realize I could never go down that path again.”
“How did you do it? How do you keep doing it?”
“I don’t know, man. There’s no easy answer. I wish I could say it gets better, but I can’t promise anything. Every day is different. Every person is different.” I think about it, considering my words before I speak. “One thing that helped is something my therapist taught me. Life is always going to be hard.”
Jake rolls his eyes dramatically. “Gee, don’t hit me with the inspirational sunshine and rainbow quotes all at once.”
I chuckle. “There will always be pain and loss and things outside of our control—like death. There’s no such thing as a perfect life. No one is happy all the time—our brains would probably explode or something. There will always be some bad shit and some good shit. What we can do is develop tools to get through the bad times, knowing they will be temporary, and then take the time to sink into the happy moments as they come.”
He blinks at me. “That’s hella deep man.”
I chuckle and shrug, finishing off the last of my sandwich.
Jake jumps down from the tire, chucking his trash in the bag. “People don’t understand. My sisters and Archer, they try, and they mean well, and they lost a sister, too, but it’s not the same. They don’t get it.”
I hop off the tire and throw my trash away. “If you ever need to talk, I’m an okay listener.”
