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I am part of the equation, aside from my mother, biological father, and my ex.
Love always failed me. The closest people to me did. Others whom I let in.
I was also rewarded with so much love, so why can’t I just forget about it?
I’m so comfortable where I am right now that I stopped chasing the things I want. I already have everything I aspired to and worked hard to get.
Now, she is right in front of me and all I do is avoid the topic. We both dance around it, searching for an answer neither of us wants to reveal.
I splash some water on my face, shake my head, and rub my eyes as I continue to contemplate while sitting on the surfboard.
We’re attracted to each other.
We were open enough to talk with no restraints online.
What is stopping me?
I found everything I looked for when I took a backpack and went to my first destination at the time, Las Vegas. It’s where it all started. Where I spread my wings. Where I met my mentor, Jim Wilder, the one who taught me how to ink and is part of who I am today. Watching him raising his daughter all by himself and building his businesses changed my entire perspective.
I know exactly what he would say in this situation.“You cut your wings when you let something affect you, Dean. Risks are what make life worth it, and without them, you’re not really living. You turn your back on the most wonderful memories.”
Initiating words into action.
I got an invite from Luka, a longtime friend, and local tattoo artist from NY whose nickname is The Devil. He is a devil when it comes to his designs; they are dark, twisted, and meticulous.
He booked me for a week in late September.
I am invited to a few more shops in other cities before then. I can still teach her even when I’m away, and it’ll also allow her to do things her way. She can work in my shop and I’ll give her a key to my house so she can stay here, that way I know she’s safe.
This can be good for us.
For me.
Dean
July
DeanWalker:Ilefta sack of food for Scar in the kitchen.
Lennon Quinn: Thank you! I’ll feed him. I’m also cleaning him and taking him to the vet.
Dean Walker: I will be looking through the cameras in my house and the shop to make sure everything’s okay.
Lennon Quinn: Don’t worry, I’m not going to walk around naked.
Since I already understand her sense of humor, I know she won’t be offended by my next text.
Dean Walker: Why not? The house will appreciate the view.
I bet the little fucker too.
Lennon Quinn: I’ll give the house a show in the bathroom, privately, where there are no cameras. *wink emoji*
Good girl.
Dean
August
