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Which means I have to go wedding dress shopping, even though I’m still wrapping my head around everything.
The inside of the bridal shop is an explosion of white. The smell of warm vanilla fills my nostrils, and I instantly feel overwhelmed by all the people inside the store, all the dresses, and all the background chatter.
I stumble and have to press my hand into the wall to steady myself. Emilia looks at me with concern.
“You ok?”
I want to cry to her, tell her how insane all of this is, how everything is moving too fast. But I don’t. Instead, I straighten and force a smile. “I’m fine.”
“Fran, I know you don’t want to do this. But it has to happen.”
“Why can’t Leo and I just elope?”
Emilia rubs her belly as she answers. “Because we need it to look official. You’re a Moretti. A grand wedding is expected. It’ll make things more legit. And if any rumors come out about you, a nice wedding will help nip it in the bud.”
“Gemma didn’t have a grand wedding.” When her husband, Viktor, kidnapped her four years ago, the two of them invaded a church and forced a priest to marry them at gunpoint. None of us were there to witness it. It’s only through Gemma’s recollections that I know about it. “And when it was your wedding, it was only our family and Leo present. Why do I need a grand wedding? I’ve always been the least likely to have a grand wedding.”
Emilia smiles as she loops her arm through mine. “It’s a little ironic, isn’t it? But it needs to be done. And don’t you want a nice wedding? I wanted one.”
“I’m not you, Emilia,” I say softly. The thought of hundreds of people staring at me as I walk down the aisle makes me want to hyperventilate.
Emilia looks hurt by my words but doesn’t say more.
A saleswoman named approaches us. Amanda is her name, according to her nametag. “What can I do for you ladies today?”
“My sister is getting married,” Emilia explains as I freeze up.
Amanda claps her hands together. “Great. What type of dress are you looking for?”
They both look at me. I shrug.
“Maybe we spend some time looking around,” Emilia offers.
“Wonderful. Just let me know if you need anything.” Amanda wanders off to help another soon-to-be-bride. One who’s probably a lot more excited to be here than I am.
Emilia and I spend some time looking at dresses. Everything starts to blend after a while, from all the lace to all the ruffles to all the fabric.
“What about this one?” Emilia shows me a princess style dress, and the sight of it makes me hyperventilate. It comes on so quick; I barely know it’s happening until I’m in the throes of it. I clutch at my chest and force myself to breath, but my chest is too tight. It’s like I’m dying.
Emilia quickly hangs up the dress and rushes over to me. “Fran? Fran?” She grabs my arms and tries to steady me, but I’m too far gone.
“I can’t,” I gasp out. “I can’t.”
Emilia looks around for a second before turning back to me. “Come on.” She leads me to the bathroom and helps me sit in the largest stall. “Just breathe, Fran. Just breathe.”
I suck in air, but it still hurts too much. “I can’t. I …”
Emilia can’t really crouch in her pregnant state, so she plops onto the floor beside me, not looking worried at all about sitting on a dirty bathroom floor. That’s the thing I’ve always loved about my oldest sister—her tenacity to make sure I’m ok takes first place over anything else. “You can. Breathe for me, Fran. Like this.” She inhales and exhales slowly. I follow suit, and after a few moments, I’m breathing normally again.
“There you go.” She brushes a piece of my hair back like I’m ten years old again. “Better?”
I nod. “Thank you.”
“What are sisters for, right?”
“Is Leo a bad man?” I ask before I can stop myself.
Emilia hesitates. “You know my opinions of him. I don’t like him.”
