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Chapter One
Tori edged quietly toward the kitchen door and peeked cautiously around it. When she saw that the coast was clear she hurried inside, headed straight for the fridge. She had nothing to feel guilty about, but that didn’t stop her. She might have every right to be here in her family home, but that didn’t make any difference; she felt like a sneak thief, stealing goodies. It didn’t help that Simon, the chef, would treat her as no better than a thief if he caught her.
It wasn’t as though she was swiping any of his ingredients – she only wanted the chocolates that she’d put in here earlier. As she grabbed the bag and scurried for the door, she decided that she’d be better off getting herself a cooler and some ice so that she could keep her own things in her own room.
She let out a sigh of relief as she stepped out of the back door and into the sunshine. The formal garden wasn’t any more welcoming than the rest of the house, but all she had to do was cross it without being seen. After that, she could sneak through the gate and be free.
Once she was on the other side of the hedge, she finally felt able to relax. It was crazy really; she loved that Bentley had asked her to come home so that she’d be able to spend some time relaxing while she figured out her next moves. She just didn’t feel able to tell him that she’d never been able to relax here or that she doubted that she ever would.
She followed the hedge all the way to the end. From there she jogged past the vines until she reached the stand of trees by the creek bed. There was no water; the creek was dry. But this was still one of her favorite spots on the whole estate. The trees provided shade and more importantly, they shielded her from view.
It wasn’t that she thought anyone was watching her or that they would have a problem with anything she did if they were. It was just that being here made her feel … inadequate somehow. She’d always felt that way as a kid and she knew that she did it to herself.
As the youngest of three siblings, she’d lucked out. Bentley and Willow were both awesome – she loved them to pieces and always had. The trouble was that they were both so … competent. Competent and confident – not words that she would use to describe herself.
Ever since she could remember, it had been a given that Bentley would grow up to run the company. He was the oldest. Willow had always had her own ideas. She’d gone off to work her way around the wine world so that she’d be able to come home and do her part. It was as though their futures had been mapped out from the moment they were born. They were destined to take over the company some day and to take it to new heights. Since their mom had stepped down, they were doing exactly that – Bentley as CEO and Willow as COO.
Tori felt as though the stork had dropped her with the wrong family. She’d heard her mom once admit that she hadn’t planned to have three children – she’d expected that she would stop at two – and those words had stuck with Tori.
Now that she was old enough to have kids of her own, Tori knew that it had been no more than a throwaway comment. She didn’t even think those words had made her feel like the odd one out – that she didn’t quite belong in her own family. It was more like they had confirmed what she already knew.
She followed the creek bed a little way until she found her favorite spot, then plonked herself down on the ground and took her phone out. She loved to sit outside and feel the breeze as she listened to her music, and this was the only place she felt comfortable to do that here.
Back in her place in Nashville, she had an awesome backyard where she spent a lot of her time on the swing shaded by the huge bur oak tree. She turned to look up at the red willow she was leaning against then patted its bark, feeling disloyal to it that it wasn’t able to comfort her in the way that big old oak tree did.
Her phone buzzed in her hand, making her jump. She peered at it warily, hoping that it wasn’t anyone wanting to ask how she was, or where she was – or worse still, what her plans were. She didn’t have any!
A big smile spread across her face when she saw the name on the display.
Xander: Whatcha doing?
Tori: Not much. You?
Xander: Thinking about you.
Tori: I’m safe. Promise.
He was so sweet. Even now that they were back here in Napa – and there was no danger to her whatsoever, he still checked in with her almost every day.
Xander: Not as safe as you would be if you were with me.
She stared at the words. If only he knew! Of course, he was right – if he was talking about being safe from physical danger. But being around Xander presented a whole different set of dangers for her. When she was with him, she didn’t feel safe from the risk of embarrassing herself – or of putting their friendship at risk.
It was getting harder and harder to keep her feelings to herself. She didn’t want to tell him, but every time she was around him, she found herself on the verge of throwing caution to the wind and confessing that she was crazy about him!
That was why she’d been trying to avoid him since they’d come home to Napa. She hated it. She missed him. After spending all their time together for the last few months, it felt like torture not to see him. But there was no reason for it here. She had to wean herself off him and somehow find a way back to just being friends.
Sure, he’d hinted at wanting them to become more than friends, but that was probably just while they’d lived in such close quarters for so long – it would have been convenient.
For all intents and purposes, he’d been her own personal bodyguard for a few months, but that was behind them now. He didn’t need to stay at her place with her anymore, didn’t need to escort her everywhere she went – and he most certainly didn’t need to share her bed.
She closed her eyes and let the memories wash over her. She missed how close they’d been – and wished that she’d been brave enough to get closer while she could. He might have shared her bed every night for weeks, but they hadn’t done anything more than sleep next to each other.
She looked down at her phone when another message came in.
Xander: Sorry. I know you’re safe at home – you don’t need me anymore.
How about you come out with me later? Make me feel a bit less useless?
