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Her mom chuckled. “I’m doing my best to not remind you that you don’t need to. You do know that, don’t you?”
“I do. It’s just force of habit, I guess. Anyway, moving swiftly on – as we do – I’m doing okay. I’m …” She hesitated, but if their relationship was ever going to improve, Tori knew that she should open up more. “I don’t know if you know this, but I’m not really comfortable on the estate.”
Her mom chuckled again. “I do know, darling. I wish you didn’t feel that way, but you’ve felt like an outsider your whole life, haven’t you?”
Tori swallowed. “Yeah.”
“Now I’m the one apologizing.”
“No! It’s not your fault. It’s nothing you did. Nothing anyone ever did. I love you; I really do. And Dad. And Bentley and Willow are awesome. It’s just … it’s me. I feel like I was never given the handbook on what it takes to be a DuPont, and so I just bumble around getting it wrong.”
“Oh, darling. We are so much more alike than you realize.”
“What do you mean?”
“I used to feel that way with my father. I knew he expected so much of me, but as a child, I never quite knew what. Although, I suppose in a way, I was better off than you. My father wrote the rule book and made me study it and live by it. I never wanted to do that to you – never wanted to make you conform. I think perhaps I did you a disservice that way. I didn’t want to give you a set of rules to conform to – but I should have given you more guidance in figuring out your own rules to live by.”
Tori sat up straighter. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re a great mom. Bentley and Willow turned out just fine.”
“And so did you! I just wish that I’d understood you better. The two of them thrived with my style of parenting – and your father’s, of course. You needed something different, and I didn’t give it to you.”
“I do okay, you know. It’s just that I don’t feel comfortable here.”
“You do more than okay. You’ve made a wonderful life for yourself, and I don’t tell you enough, but I’m proud of you.”
Tori swallowed. “Thank you.”
“Anyway.” Her mom sniffed. “I had the feeling that you’d be feeling out of sorts there in Napa. I wanted to see how you are. Are you planning to go back to Nashville?”
“I don’t know. I want to. But at the same time, there isn’t anything I need to go back for right now. Callie’s taking some time off. She wants to get settled in Montana with Kolby, and I don’t blame her. It’s just that when you’re a backup singer, there’s not much to do when you don’t have a singer to back.”
“Would you not want to work with anyone else?”
“I might. Autumn – she’s the head of the label – said that I should give her a call when I get back to town. She’ll set me up with something if I want it. It’s just that I’ve worked with Callie for so long that I can’t imagine working with anyone else – I’m not sure that I’d want to, you know?”
“I can understand that. Although, anyone you work with will be lucky to have you. You’re very talented.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I mean it. You are. And you know, if you wanted to go out on your own, I’m sure you’d do wonderfully.”
Tori pursed her lips. “Please tell me that you haven’t been talking to Clay MacAdam?”
Her mom chuckled. “I promise you that I have not. I know how you feel about that. I’d really like for us to be closer, Tori – I wouldn’t do anything that would put our relationship in jeopardy. And I know full well that going against your wishes and interfering in your career would do exactly that.”
Tori blew out a sigh. “Thanks for understanding.”
“I do, you know. I understand that you want to make it on your own, you don’t want any favors, and you certainly don’t want to trade on the family name – or any strings I can pull.”
“Yeah.” Her mom had been friends with Clay MacAdam – the grandaddy of country music himself, who just happened to own the label she worked for – long before Tori had moved to Nashville. She knew that a lot of people would love to have a connection like that – and to be able to make the most of it. But Tori had moved there to get away from feeling like the odd one out in her family; the last thing she wanted was to feel as though she couldn’t make it without her mom’s help even from half a continent away.
“You know I never wanted a big music career, don’t you?”
“I do. You just wanted to strike out on your own and do something you enjoy.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you still enjoy it?”
