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He chuckled. “Okay.”
“Seriously, Xander!” She sucked in a deep breath. “I can’t believe that I’m going to tell you this, but I fell in love with you when I was five years old.”
He tilted his head to one side and waited.
“You, Jacob, and Hannah had all come over to the estate. Everyone was playing tag in the garden, and I snuck out the gate to be by myself because you guys were all so much bigger than me, and no one was taking any notice of me.”
Her heart felt as though it melted in her chest when he smiled and asked, “You remember that day?”
She had to blink a few times against the tears that pricked her eyes. “You do?” she asked in wonder.
“Of course I do. But you were so small. I didn’t think you would. We were all playing tag, and then they called us in to eat, and you weren’t there. Everyone was racing each other back up to the house, but I couldn’t see you. I knew you used to sneak out that gate all the time.” He chuckled. “You still do.”
She laughed with him.
“When I went out there, you were sitting singing to yourself. You looked so … I dunno. But you were so … self-contained. You didn’t need any of us. You didn’t need to join in the game of tag, or anything else. You fascinated me.”
She put her hand over her heart. “I was fine by myself, but then you came out to get me – and you cared. I could tell that you cared. And you held my hand on the way back in and you asked about the song and – you saw me, you were interested in me, in who I was, and it felt so good.”
He took her hand and squeezed it. “I did care – I still do. And I’m still interested in who you are, more than interested, I’m fascinated by you, Tori.”
She met his gaze. She was half sad and half relieved that he hadn’t picked up on what she’d said – that she’d fallen in love with him that day. It was true, but it was probably too much to share with him. She’d believed that he would be the unrequited love of her life – the guy she’d always wanted from afar but thought she could never have.
It might turn out to be even harder to let him go when the time came than it would have been to never be with him at all. But that was a price she was willing to pay. She was all in for however long this lasted – she’d worry about trying to put herself back together afterward. She squeezed his hand back, and said, “Take me to bed.”
~ ~ ~
Xander cast a wary eye in the direction of Jacob’s study as he led Tori down the hallway toward the stairs. It shouldn’t matter if Jacob and Becca were in there, or even if they saw them and wanted to chat for a while. The irony wasn’t lost on him that in the past Jacob had given him a hard time for making a racket, partying with girls he’d brought back here. But this was different.
Tori looked nervous, so he tugged on her hand and ran for the stairs. By the time they reached the top, they were both laughing. He hustled her all the way to the end of the hall to his bedroom and pulled her inside.
“Oh my God!” she panted. “I guess any worries I might have had about trying to be sexy have gone out the window!”
“How do you mean?”
She rolled her eyes. “I mean, I’ve blown any chance I had with that. I’m more like a giggly girl who came racing up here with you.”
He reached past her to lock the door behind them. “You couldn’t be anything but sexy, Tori.” The truth hit him as he spoke. “Being able to run and laugh together like we just did? That’s way sexier than putting on a front for each other.” He clamped his mouth shut just in time, before he explained that he’d been with plenty of women who tried to be seductive and all it had done was put even more distance between them.
He rested his hands on her hips. “I like this better. I love that I already know the giggly girl you can be. I’m crazy about the person you’ve grown into …” He hesitated, but he had to say it, “And I’m really hoping that you’ll want to keep me around to see you grow into the confident woman you’re becoming.”
She looped her arms up around his neck and pressed a kiss to his lips. “If it were up to me, I’d keep you around forever.”
His heart pounded and all his breath caught in his chest. Looking into her eyes, he knew that he didn’t need to ask – the truth was written all over her face. She really did mean it.
“It is up to you. If you want me, you’ve got me.”
She pressed the whole length of her body against his until they were touching from their knees to their chests, and Xander couldn’t contain the low growl that rumbled up from his chest.
“I want you.” She looked up at him from under her lashes. “I’ve been afraid to tell you – afraid that … I don’t know what, but Xander, it goes both ways. If you want me, I’m yours.”
A rush of heat coursed through his veins. “I want you. I want to make love to you. And when we do … I’m not going to want to let you go – ever.”
She inhaled sharply. “Ever?”
He probably shouldn’t have said it yet, but he had, and there was no taking it back. “Not ever.” He watched her face, and the tension left his shoulders when she smiled.
“I’d like that.”
