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He felt her gaze on him as he drove and turned to smile at her. Why waste time caught up in his thoughts when she was sitting right there beside him?
“How about you? Have you decided whether you’re going to accept the job with Kolby’s brother?”
He shook his head rapidly, knowing damn well that she would take that to mean that he hadn’t decided yet. He had – he’d known from the moment Cash MacFarland had called to ask if he wanted to join their team that he wasn’t going to take the job. He just didn’t want to admit it yet.
While everyone thought that he was simply taking a break, they wouldn’t question his motives for staying here in Napa. When they knew that he didn’t plan to go and work for Cash, they’d want to know what he was going to do next. He didn’t want to have to explain to anyone that he was just biding his time until Tori made her mind up. If she stayed here, he would, too. If she went back to Nashville, he was going to find a way to go with her. Even if she didn’t want him with her, he’d go anyway. He’d get some kind of job there, even if it were working as a bouncer in one of the bars – there was always a demand for them.
~ ~ ~
Tori turned to look out the window as they headed north out of town. She was happy that he’d asked her to come along, but she couldn’t help wondering why he had. She had a nasty feeling that maybe he’d just gotten used to looking out for her.
She was dreading the day when he would announce that he was leaving town again. The only thing she could think of that would be worse than that would be if he were to meet someone here. If he started dating, she’d be on the jet back to Nashville just as soon as she could – even though there was nothing there for her to go back to.
She was going to have to figure out what to do with her life. She couldn’t carry on the way she was. She was living on the family estate when she didn’t want to be there. She didn’t have a job or even any prospects. And glancing over at Xander again, she realized that the most depressing thing about her situation was that she got to hang out with him but didn’t have the guts to even ask if he wanted to take their friendship to another level.
“I don’t think I can I live in limbo like this for much longer.”
She turned back to look at him. His gaze was fixed on the road ahead. He looked serious, maybe even irritated – a little pulse ticked at his temple. She held her breath, dreading what he might say next. If he weren’t going to take the job with Cash, perhaps he’d already decided what else he was going to do. Her heart thudded to a halt – perhaps he’d asked her to come for a drive with him so that he could tell her that he was leaving.
“What … what do you mean?”
He shot a quick glance at her, and she braced herself for bad news. Then he turned his attention back to the road, and chuckled. “I can’t live with not knowing if I’m doing the right thing. Jacob said that everyone’s meeting at Molly’s for dinner. I decided for you that you’d rather come for a drive with me, but now I don’t know if I did wrong.”
She gave him a wry smile. “You didn’t do wrong.”
“No?”
“No. I wouldn’t have wanted to go but I wouldn’t have had an excuse. Thank you.”
He nodded slowly. “No need. You’re my excuse, too.”
Chapter Two
Xander gripped the steering wheel tighter as they left Yountville and headed toward Lake Hennessey. He hadn’t known where he was going when he picked Tori up, but there were trails around the lake that they could walk. It wasn’t too far out – although now that he had her in his SUV, he was tempted to just keep driving and see where the road took them.
He was mad at himself. When he’d told her that he couldn’t take living in limbo any longer, he hadn’t really been talking about giving her the option to go to dinner with everyone. He’d been about to tell her how he felt. He needed her to know, needed her to understand that he hadn’t spent all that time with her just because she was Bentley’s little sister, or even because they were friends themselves. He needed to get it through to her that he wasn’t just looking out for her – that he was crazy about her.
With any other woman, he wouldn’t have let it drag out this long. In fact, he couldn’t remember having taken his time in any respect with women in the past. But this was different. Like he’d told Jacob, Tori was different. For one thing, she wouldn’t appreciate him moving as swiftly as he usually did. For another, this mattered. In the past, it wouldn’t have made much difference to him if a woman turned him down. Granted, it might dent his ego a little, but nothing more than that. He’d pick himself up and move on – there were plenty more fish in the sea.
But this wasn’t the sea. He was no longer a SEAL out with his buddies looking to get laid. This was Napa – his hometown. And Tori wasn’t just some fish. She was … she was special, different. He kept holding back because he didn’t want to mess this up. If she turned him down, he didn’t know what he’d do.
He blew out a sigh when he found a spot in the parking lot and cut the engine. She turned to him with a puzzled look on her face.
“Are you okay? That was a big sigh.”
“I’m good. I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.” He climbed out and she trotted around to meet him.
“Anything you want to talk about? You know I’m a good listener.”
She was. Just as she’d opened up to him in all the hours they’d spent together while he was protecting her, he’d done the same. He’d told her more about his time in the Navy than he had anyone else and more about how he’d felt growing up in Napa, too.
But since he wasn’t sure that she’d want to hear what he had to say right now, he just winked and grabbed hold of her hand. “Nah. It’s all good. We came out here to get away from it all, let’s just enjoy it, huh?”
She nodded and trotted along at his side, making him slow down when he remembered that, physically, she was only a little thing. She felt like such a big presence to him that he forgot that she had to take two strides for each one of his, just to keep up.
They walked in silence for a while; it felt good to just enjoy the late afternoon sunshine. It was weird – he’d probably talked more with her than with anyone else – but he also felt comfortable sharing silence with her. He hadn’t known many women who could keep quiet for long. Tori seemed to match him perfectly; they could talk about anything and everything or absolutely nothing – and he enjoyed all of it.
~ ~ ~
