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Raising the belt I let it rest on the small of her back, then stroked it decadently over the round of her bottom, into the dip of her cheeks. I curled it between her legs and let it hover at her opening. Her head dropped an inch and her breaths shortened.
“This will hurt,” I said, matter of fact.
Her head twitched to one side. “I want it to.”
It was then I realised how bloody uncomfortable my whole bottom half had become. My jeans were suffocating and my pelvis burned. Her skin was pale like a latte, and soft like freshly baked bread. My hands twitched to feel her. But she needed this, and I had to abandon a part of myself to give her what she’d asked for.
“Fifteen strokes,” I said, monotone.
Her breaths quickened and shallowed. “If that’s what it takes.”
I swallowed down the urge to hold her through this. That wasn’t what she’d asked for. And her life was on the line.
“Fifteen minimum. Do you understand? We do it this way or we don’t do it at all.”
She nodded rapidly.
I took a steadying breath. “And there’s no safe word.”
Her body shook with a ripple that started at the base of her spine and ended at the nape of her neck, almost blinding me with the magnitude of what I was about to do.
“Do it.”
The wall of my chest bloomed and thickened. “Count with me.”
She went to nod again but the violent thwack of leather against flesh with the weight of my body behind it made her sob instead.
“One.”
I listened closely to her shaking breaths. Seconds passed and the shock of what she’d asked me to do stepped clearly through the fog of her shame. “One,” she repeated, her voice meek.
I raised my right hand, bent it behind my neck and brought the leather down onto the mounds of her bottom with a loud slap. The force shot her forward but her fingers held firm on the mantlepiece.
“Two.”
The room was silent until she swallowed several times, then her voice broke as she said, “Two.”
I positioned myself at a better angle then quickly flicked the leather backwards and down onto her skin with a neat crack. I hated the pride I felt at leaving a thin, dark red line across the bulbous round of her arse. “Three.”
She surprised me by responded quickly and calmly. “Three.”
Emboldened by her strength, I took a step back and drove the leather into her from a greater distance. Her pelvis started forward but she shoved it backwards in defiance.
She spoke before I had a chance to. “Four.”
I blinked, feeling blood course through the base of my spine. This time I put everything I had into it, whacking the belt against her skin like my life depended on it.
“FIVE,” she shouted.
Jesus Christ.
I unleashed another five slaps before she had time to open her mouth to speak, then I dropped to my knees. Both of us stilled, our chests heaving with the exertion. I wasn’t exactly enjoying myself but fuck was I turned on. She was defiant and bold in her conviction. For so long in our relationship, she’d been the one who’d softened, who’d bent, who’d made the hard decisions that meant we wouldn’t be together and happy, who’d made us both sacrifice ourselves for the ‘greater good’. Yet now here she was, commanding me to hurt her and somehow getting something out of it. I didn’t understand it, and that murkiness made me uneasy. But the fact she was still here asking for more, not buckling under the pain, wanting me in whatever shape or form I came in, made me hot with need.
I pressed my lips to the raw, grazed skin and kissed it like it was her mouth. A wanton sigh left her lungs and she pressed herself into me brazenly. I ran my fingers up the sides of her thighs and dug them into her hips, holding her still as I French-kissed the marks I’d left on her.
“God, Rupert,” she said, panting. “I want you now.”
My tongue crested a crevice my belt had left in her right cheek. No, I thought. You don’t get to make me do this to you, then call the fucking shots. I loved her beyond anything earthly, but I was infused with the need to give her what she didn’t know she needed. She’d thought she needed to leave the island. She’d thought it was a good idea to leave for good and never return. She always took it to the edge of forever, but when the reality of what final looked like hit her, she lost her nerve. Not this time. She was getting what she asked for.
