Page 23 of Carols and Consent


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I’m doing everything I can to act normal, including singing every Christmas carol I know while I wait for my brothers to make their move.

When he brought up CNC, I just about passed out. I’ve read about it as a safe way to act out what would normally be a terrible thing. Acting is the key. Everyone understands that I won’t ever actually be in danger, but it’s fair game to get aggressive.

We decided on the classic,red, as a safe word.

Jack asked about what to do if my mouth was full. We agreed that I would tap them with an arm or leg or tap the ground three times. Of course, that means they can’t tie up my arms and legs and fill my mouth up at the same time, which I’m a little bummed about, but we’ll do that in a different session.

The anticipation is killing me, but Travis insisted that I not know when to expect them to come for me. It’ll be a better adrenaline surge.

We worked out a loose scenario and the guys are honing details amongst themselves.

Running out of classic Christmas carols, I break into Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton’sYou Make It Feel Like Christmas.

I pull up the sheets on Jack’s bed, wondering how many women he’s had in here. Has he played this game before? What do I really know? I feel like I’m losing my heart to my brothers without seeing how it will ever work.

I’ve almost convinced our parents to come into town for Christmas, but a sexual relationship between us siblings would destroy them. It’s too soon to worry about saying anything anyway. If our parents agree to dinner with all of us, we’ll act normal. If I even know what that is anymore.

I fluff the pillows, then head downstairs to the kitchen. I love the open-concept home, with almost entire glass walls. So light and free in the middle of several gated acres. I don’t have to flip the overhead lights on because of all the sunlight.

We confirmed that I’m fine if all of us end up together, but that I’m only okay with two of my holes being filled right now. One of those is my mouth. We’ll work on the other hole a different time.

I handwash the single cup in the sink, dry it, and put it away.

Closing the cabinet, I turn toward the sink and stumble backward. Through the window, I see Calvin standing outside at the picnic table, arms folded and one ankle crossed over the other. Surely I would have noticed if he was there earlier.

When we were hanging out talking about our favorite shows, I told them how hot it was inGood Girlswhen Rio watches Beth through the kitchen window. Is that what they’re doing?

Maybe. Maybe not. But the scene has begun. My heart races and I turn the water on to pretend wash my hands.

Footsteps approach from behind. I can barely breathe.

Calvin’s watching but he won’t have that great of a view since he can only see me from the waist up. I presume I’m about to get railed at the kitchen sink. Or not, if I resist.

“Is someone,” I start to say looking over my shoulder and Travis closes in on me, his hips pinning me hard against the kitchen counter, his hands on either side.

“Hey, neighbor. Thought I’d come over and we could have some fun.”

He’s my neighbor, okay. How do I want to play this?

I’m so excited to be taken by my brothers again that it shocks me when Travis lifts one of his hands and whispers in my ear, “Run.”

Despite all of my acting training, all of my improv sessions, all of my desire to do this… I freeze.

He leans away, and I’m trying to gather myself to do what he said, and a sharp slap on my ass is exactly the incentive I needed.

Every single muscle in my body tightens, for a split second before I sprint to the other side of the kitchen island. I grab the edge and stare him down. I hope I do this right. This is my chance to get aggressive and process my frustrations, but the promise of sex did that already.

I do love a chance to act, though. I cautiously lift one hand and say with a shaky voice, “I didn’t let you in.”

“You left the door unlocked.” He rounds the island, and I don’t freeze this time.

I bolt. He knows his house better than I do, but I weave through the long living room, around the couch, then the end table, trying to keep a piece of furniture between us at all times. He slaps a hand on the back of the couch and launches himself over it.

I scream as he grabs my arm. Yanking with all my might, I slip away, positioning myself behind a plush chair.

“Leave her alone. I’m calling the police.” Big D’s voice from down the hall indicates he’s on my side. Interesting.

“You want to call the cops? You’ll have to come get your cell phone.” Travis lunges toward the coffee table and grabs the phone Big D is heading for. “If she sucks my cock just right, I’ll dial the number for you.”

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