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I raised a brow, flicking my attention to my brother whose jaw was locked and his eyes looking straight ahead. He wasn’t showing a single emotion, keeping it all locked away. Seemed like we were both good at that lately—not showing how we really felt.
People murmured around us, Lorenzo saying something quietly to Romeo, then they both looked over at me. If they hadn’t have been so obvious, I’d never have known they were talking about me. But their stares had me one hundred percent certain. Which only signaled that I needed to get out of here asap. The last thing I needed was to be accosted and told to explain where I’d been for the better part of a week.
“That’s all for today,” Lorenzo announced, his dark eyes narrowing on me. I kept my gaze to his though, not backing down even though I probably should have. I was a Pagani, a man who served the boss, but in that moment, I was simply a son—a son of a woman who had been hurt in the worst way possible. There was no way in hell that Lorenzo hadn’t known about it. The bosses knew everything.
“Rafael,” I heard from beside me. I’d known he was close without him saying a word, especially as people started to file out of the room and into the entryway. They’d stay there for hours where Auntie Rosa would cook traditional meals. It was always my favorite part of these meetings, but today…today I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of here.
So I pushed up off the wall, not giving my father a single look. For too long he’d controlled me. When Romeo lived at home, I was always the hanger-on, the one who never got put first by him. It was me who had been there with my mom. Me who had hugged her when I walked in and saw her crying. Me who had sat with her in the dark, silence surrounding us because Romeo and Dad had been out to work late and she was sure she heard someone trying to break in.
Neither of them had any idea just how on edge Mom was. They had no damn clue.
But now it all made sense—everything came crashing down around me, the equation I’d been staring at for my entire twenty years of life had now been solved.
“Rafael,” my father repeated, his voice deeper this time. Now there were only a handful of people left in Lorenzo’s office: Lorenzo, Romeo, Christian, Dante, and of course, me and my father.
I took a step toward Romeo, but it was only because that was the way to get out of this office, when a hand gripped my bicep. Blinking, I counted to ten, trying to keep a lid on all of my rage, but it was damn hard as I turned to face the man who had raised me.
“What?” I growled. I felt the icy-cold chill thrash across the room at my word, but it was the fire echoed in my father’s eyes that kept my own anger a raging inferno.
“I haven’t seen you since we took care of Gio.” His words were calm, at a complete opposite to how hard his hand was gripping me.
“Let go of me,” I gritted out, yanking my arm from his grip.
“Rafael.” He took a step toward me, but I whipped around, losing my shit big-time as I took two steps toward him and got in his face.
“No.” My nostrils flared, all of my senses on overdrive. I could hear the footsteps coming closer to us, could feel them all at my back, but I didn’t give a fuck. I didn’t care. “You’re a piece of shit.” The words came out more broken than I’d meant for them to, and there was no doubt he’d heard it. I wanted to come across fierce and protective, but in my head, I sounded like a lost little boy—I felt like it at times too.
“Son…” He trailed off, backing away a step, but I just followed him.
“Don’t ‘son’ me.” I felt the heat in my face, my muscles so tense I was sure that they would snap at any second. “You were supposed to protect her.” My chest heaved, my anger a living, breathing thing as I stared at my father. “And you fuckin’ didn’t!” I roared, hurting my own ears. “It’s all your fault.” I let my shoulders droop, feeling every ounce of energy draining from me. “She’s the way she is because ofyou.”
“Raf,” Romeo said from behind me. His tone was off and I hated it—I hated the idea of turning around and facing him, knowing that I was supposed to protect Bailey, just the same way as my dad was supposed to protect my mom.
We’d both failed. Epically.
“No.” I squeezed my eyes closed, backing away. I couldn’t look at anyone else. I couldn’t face the reality of what was right in front of me.
I had to get out of here. I had to do something…anything…because all I could hear—see—were those moments in the brick shed where my mom confessed what had happened to her.
“Come on, lil’ bro.” Romeo’s tone was jovial, but we all heard the tenseness behind it. “Bailey is missing you.”
I shook my head, hating the words he’d spoken. He knew how they’d affect me. I mean, damn, I’d spent every day with Bailey since he’d rescued her from the hellhole Gio Pozzi had created, and now…now I was no longer there. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t face her knowing that she wouldn’t have been harmed again if it wasn’t for me.
“I can’t,” I choked out, hating how out of control I felt in that moment.
“It’s not your fault, Raf. He’s gone. Bailey is good. She wants to see you,” Romeo said, his voice sounding like he was closer.
Shaking my head, I refused to hear his words, refused to acknowledge anything but the pain I was feeling inside. “I need to…” I trailed off, spinning on the spot, then beelining it for the door. I only made it two steps before I had to open my eyes, but I refused to make eye contact with anyone. I just needed out of this place—away from all the demons determined to haunt my every waking hour.
* * *
PEYTON
“Give Mommy a kiss,” I told Reed as I held him against my chest. He made a noise in the back of his throat, squirming away from me, telling me without words that his patience was wearing thin. I half smiled and half rolled my eyes. The first time he’d come to daycare, he’d refused to let go of me, and now he couldn’t wait to get away. I knew it was because he could hear his friends playing and he didn’t want to miss anything, so I placed a kiss on his cheek and told him, “Have fun today.”
He nodded, not taking any notice of me as I passed him to the staff member who was waiting in the doorway. No parents were allowed beyond that point, which was something I appreciated. The security here was the main reason I’d chosen it.
I backed away a couple of steps, watching as she locked the door behind her, then carried Reed to the play area. I could just about see him if I craned my neck. And I knew if I didn’t leave now, I’d still be here in an hour, waiting, when I was supposed to be using this time to get things done, like the grocery shopping.
