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Do you want me to be honest? Because I can...
I sent the message, trying to pluck up the courage to say something to him that I would never vocalize to his face. It was now or never. I knew I’d never be able to say the physical words to him, and this was the next best thing.
Peyton
I don’t think I can trust any man ever again.
Silence. Three dots appearing, then disappearing. I wasn’t sure how long I was sitting there, waiting for his reply, but after five minutes had passed by, I was sure I wouldn’t get one, so I made a move to swipe out of the messaging app, just as a long message appeared.
Rafael
I get that, mama. I do. But you can’t live your life never trusting anyone ever again. I can see the pain in your eyes every time I look at you. I know you’ve been through some shit. You’re a strong woman, a mother, a fuckin’ badass. But you don’t have to be that all of the time. Get to know me first. Then decide whether you can trust me or not. Don’t write me off before you’ve even read the first chapter.
The butterflies were back, flying around like crazy. I hadn’t expected that—I didn’t know what Ihadexpected. But it wasn’t that. Damn.
I pulled in a deep breath, then another, trying to calm the storm starting to rage inside me. Part of me wondered whether I was looking for a distraction to keep my mind off of who I was sure I’d seen a week ago at the grocery store, but there hadn’t been anything since then. I’d been all ready to pick up and move, but after the silence that ensued, I was sure Travis hadn’t spotted me. I would have known about it by now if he had.
And Raf…Raf was so different to Travis. He may have worked in a criminal organization too, but that was where the similarities ended.
All I’d been thinking about for months was making sure the boys and I were safe, and I’d achieved that. I’d gotten us out of there and started fresh, but I hadn’t truly started over. I’d kept myself locked away, having the bare minimum of contact with other adults.
But Raf…he’d changed that. He made me feel things—things that I’d never felt before. And even though it was scary, I liked it. I liked it a hell of a lot.
So I typed back a reply with a huge grin on my face.
Peyton
I’ll get to know you, Raf. Name the time and place.
It was seconds before a reply shot through.
Rafael
I’ll pick you up at 12 on Friday.
Both boys would be at school, but I had a feeling he knew that already. He was making this easier and easier by the minute. The problem was, nothing good should come easy, right? The other shoe was about to drop, I was just biding my time, preparing myself for when it did.
CHAPTER 7
RAFAEL
I pulled up outside her house, hating how the nerves were bashing through me with the force of a bulldozer to a building. It didn’t help that the drive over here from my new place was thirty minutes, so all I could think about was what I was going to do—how I was going to act.
But now I was here, parked at the bottom of her driveway, my engine still running, my hands clutched to the steering wheel.
Dammit, I hadn’t expected to be this apprehensive. Being nervous was a good thing, right? It meant I cared. That was what people said, but right then, I just felt…out of sorts.
Inhaling a breath, I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to let calm wash over me. My stomach dipped, butterflies flying around like crazy. Fuck. I just needed to get out of the car, to make the first move.
Without thinking, I opened my eyes, switched the engine off, then darted out of my car. I strolled up her driveway, past her car, then to her door, knowing I was portraying an ease I didn’t feel in that moment.
I was ten minutes early, which to some probably wasn’t a good look, but I needed to show her that I was serious about her giving me a chance.
I’d never wanted to spend time with another woman the way that I wanted to spend time with her. We’d had a few conversations, some touching—fuck me, that touching—but we’d never just spenttimetogether. It was what most people called a date, right? But to me, it was more than that, it was me showing her that she was worth spending time with—worth fighting to get to know.
She was a closed book, that much was clear, but I was determined to open her up, crack the spine, and flip through the pages, consuming every word like I needed them to breathe.
She didn’t know it yet, but there was no way I was walking away from her. My gut knew—it knew that she was in my life for a reason. I’d never believed in love at first sight—or lust at first sight. But I one hundred percent knew that we all had a path that was created for us, one that could take many twists and turns with the choices we made. And this—she—was a choice, one that I refused to turn away from.
