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“Hold you?”
I swallowed, closing my eyes as I tried to keep my tears at bay. But it was hard, so damn hard, when all I wanted was to curl up into a ball and sob my heart out. “Yeah. I just…I need to know you’re here. I need to know I’m not going to wake up and it was all a dream.”
Three seconds passed. Then five, then ten. He stood, taking off his jacket, then slowly moving me over a little. I winced, groaning in pain, but as soon as he was on the bed, he put his arms around me. My head rested on his chest, my breaths coming a little easier as I listened to the sound of his heart beating.
“Never again, mama. I’ll never let you go again.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I vow to protect you always and forever.”
I closed my eyes, letting that sink in, and finally, for the first time in a month, closed my eyes and fell asleep without worrying about what I was going to wake up to.
CHAPTER 17
RAFAEL
My muscles were locked tight, all of my wits about me. I couldn’t even describe how I felt being trapped in the back of Ace’s car with one of his men next to him, driving around inhisterritory. I was on edge, my gaze constantly flicking out of the window, on high alert. I wasn’t sure where we were going exactly, but all I knew was that I would be coming out of there with my boys in my arms.
They were all I could think about, consuming every thought in my mind. Were they okay? Did they have any idea what was going on around them? Had they overheard things? Were they happy? I inhaled a stuttering breath. Were they sad?
I swallowed, trying not to let it all take over and consume me, but it was hard when I was driving further away from Peyton, leaving her in the hands of my father and brother. If there were two people in this world that I trusted most, it was them. But that didn’t make it any easier walking out of that hospital without her next to me.
But the fact was, there was no way in hell that I was going to let Ace get the boys and bring them back to her. I’d be the one to make sure they got back safe and sound. They were my responsibility now.
“I didn’t know,” Ace all of a sudden said. I whipped my head up, taking stock of the way he was sitting as he continued to drive. His hand rested on the top of the steering wheel as his eyes flicked up, his attention capturing mine in the rearview mirror. “I didn’t know what was happening to Peyton.” He shuffled in his seat, slowing down at an intersection, then stopping completely. “If I would have known…” He trailed off, his unspoken words hanging in the air for us all to interpret.
It would have been so easy for me to judge him. To tell him that he should have been watching her closer, or that he should have believed her when she told him the day he found her here. But I’d be a hypocrite. There had been a couple of days there where I’d second-guessed everything—where I’d gone against my gut.
“He manipulated you all,” I said, shrugging. It was the truth. “He was good at that.”
There was silence, then the man next to him—Zander—grunted, “Never trusted him. You already know that, boss.”
Ace grasped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white at the force. “I know, Z.” He glanced at him, a silent conversation going on between them, much like there always was with Lorenzo and his captains. “I figured it was because of what happened all those years ago.”
Zander raised a brow, and I was fascinated to see how they were interacting. It was clear that Ace wasn’t just his boss, but his friend too. “You mean when I caught him being rough with my cousin?” Zander shook his head, turning his attention to the road ahead. “I warned you the day you told me him and P were together. I fuckin’ told you to keep an eye on him.”
Ace exploded, slamming his palm down on his steering wheel over and over again with so much force I was surprised the thing was still fuckin’ attached. “I trusted him, Z!” he roared. “I fuckin’ trusted him. He was my best goddamn friend.”
Zander tilted his head to the side, not looking at him as he whispered, “So was I, but you didn’t listen. You blocked out the signs and now look where she is.” Zander rolled his shoulders and I winced, knowing that there was no way in hell I would have spoken to Lorenzo like that.
The silence stretched as we continued driving and then turned into a driveway, not as long as Lorenzo’s but with the same kind of security. Only this was grander, the huge circle fountain in front of a sprawling mansion telling everyone of the money Ace had. I wasn’t surprised by it, but it just didn’t have the same kind of history that the Beretta mansion had.
“Feel better now that you had your say?” Ace asked, switching the engine off and turning in his seat to face Zander. When he nodded, he ground out, “I don’t want to hear another word on how much I fucked up. All I want to hear is how the hell we’re gonna catch the motherfucker and make him pay.”
“I’m already on it,” Zander said, opening up the door. “He tried to get in here when you got the call about P. As soon as he saw the extra security, he bolted. He knows we’re hunting him. It’s just a matter of time now.”
I relished in what he was saying, but part of me wanted it to be known that they weren’t going to handle this alone. I wanted my say. I wanted to take some revenge on that piece of shit. I wanted to avenge not only Peyton and the boys, but my unborn baby too.
Grinding my teeth together, I tried not to think about the loss as Ace got out, followed by Zander, but I couldn’t help it. I was trapped inside my own head, the what-ifs taking over and creating a world where Peyton hadn’t lost the baby.
But it wasn’t our reality. It wasn’t mean to be in the cards. Not yet.
A plan was in place for us, that was what I kept telling myself over and over again as I got out of the back of the vehicle and took four steps forward until I heard commotion in front of me.
“Raf!” Kian shouted, so loud that it echoed. I couldn’t stop the huge grin spreading on my face as his little legs ran as fast as they could. It was all I could do to drop to my knees and hold my arms open for him. As soon as he was close enough, he dived at me and I wrapped him up, then stood, twirling us around and taking in a huge breath.
He was safe. He was okay.He was safe. He was safe.
I pulled back, pushing some hair out of his face—he really needed a haircut but he only let Peyton touch it. “Hey, bud.” A lump formed in my throat at that sad look shadowing his eyes. “I missed you so much,” I choked out.
“I missed you too.” His little arms wrapped around my neck, so tight, as if he would never let go. And I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to stay safe in my arms for as long as possible. “Where’s Mommy?” His eyes widened, his head swiveling as if she would be right here with me. But when he couldn’t see her, his lips turned down.
