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She quickly pushed the stroller down the path away from us.
“You did that on purpose.”
“As if she doesn’t breastfeed.” I sighed. “Sorry, it just pisses me off when they act like it’s so important to be married. This town—” I broke off before I looked like a complete bitch.
“This town is a little more conservative, that’s all. Besides, Caroline couldn’t wear a bikini before she had her child. She’s just jealous that you’re secure enough in yourself to wear one.”
I wasn’t secure about anything. I was living with my parents again and didn’t know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Coming home was not only two steps back, it was more like twelve, but there wasn’t much I could do about it right now.
I slid the blanket away from bean’s face since it was hot even in the shade. When she’d had her fill and she dozed off in her milkdrunk haze, I settled her on the blanket under the screen I used.
“I’m sorry I’m bitchy.”
“I understand. You’re just in the in-between time. Things will get better.”
“I don’t want to sound ungrateful, Mom. I appreciate that you took us in.”
“There’s no taking you in. You’re our daughter and she’s our granddaughter. You always have a place with us.”
“I know. I just thought I could manage, that’s all.”
“There’s no shame in regrouping. Having a baby with colic is hard when there are two parents, let alone doing everything yourself and trying to work.”
“There are women who do it.”
“Because they have to. You are allowed to use your support system. I had your father and a nanny when Clint was born, and I was still drowning. Trying to go to all your father’s social engagements with a little one at home was hard.”
“You had a nanny? Why didn’t I know that?”
“Because we only had her for the first year with Clint. I was young and didn’t know how to juggle being the Mayor’s wife and a new mother. It takes time and patience to do it all, Emma. And moms get it wrong all the time.”
My eyes burned as I crawled across the blanket to hug her. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being a brat.” I sat back down in front of her. “I love being Adriana’s mom. I do.”
“But you want it all.” She cupped my cheek. “You’ve always wanted more.”
I did. And I’d left him behind, along with the job.
I blinked away the tears that wanted to come. They didn’t help anything and just gave me a stupid headache.
“Okay, so about the store.”
My mom sighed. “Emma.”
“No, hear me out. Instead of just going with some ugly metal door, why don’t you see if Thomas can have the windows upgraded.”
Thoughtful now, she tipped her head. “Go on.”
“Those windows are really beautiful, I agree. I mean, it might not be cost effective which was what made Thomas go for just tearing it out. But there are a lot of people who like to do restorations.”
I reached back for my phone and peeked in on bean. She was passed out. I saw a text message from Rami and left it unread so I wouldn’t forget.
“I saw this metal artist on social media. She loves to redo old buildings. Maybe if Thomas let her film it, he might get a deal on it. And hey, free advertising for J&M.”
“Sounds like you have a project.”
I looked up from my phone. “Maybe, yeah.”
“Why don’t you walk over to the store and talk to Thomas?”
