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Where did we go wrong?
Is this what I want?
“Loving you was easy.” His voice breaks through the silence, and I push myself upright again.
Facing away from me, his drooping broad shoulders drop lower as he continues to stare at the open doorway. “But losing you.” He struggles to continue. “Losing you is harder and more painful than I could have imagined.”
He takes a few more steps toward the door then grabs onto the doorjambs on either side, his knuckles whitening from fisting them so tight, as if needing something to hold him upright. “If you want space, then you’ve got it. Although, you’ve just told me I give you too much, and still you want more. I can’t win.” Defeated, his voice is so low I can barely make out his words. “I love you,” he finally says. “You’re all the reasons I believed in love.” His voice breaks on the last few words and I can hear his pain. He sucks in an audible breath before he disappears.
I hear his footsteps sprinting down the stairs. The sounds of him crying echoing throughout the huge space before the front door slams shut, leaving me alone.
Again.
He gave me what I wanted.
I asked for this.
Leaving us both heartbroken.
Completely destroyed.
I scream his name into the emptiness, realizing what I have done.
The hate bomb I have for myself exploding in my chest.
Losing him is more painful than I ever imagined too. I hate this feeling.
And despise myself for causing all of this.
Lips quivering, I don’t think I have any tears left in me, but they fall and fall until they dry up. I must sit for hours in the dark just staring off into space.
Where did he go? I have no right to text him to ask him if he’s okay.
He’s not okay.
I’m not okay.
We’re not okay.
I reach for my phone Ash must have placed on the nightstand for me and text the only person I trust.
Me:
I need you.
Me:
Please come home, Gemma.
I need my sister.
Me:
I think I messed up.
“I’m so sorry, Ash,” I say into the empty room, curling myself into a ball, wishing my mom was still here.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
