AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You want the next three months off and on your return, you want to either scale down your hours or become the youth hockey development officer for the Eagles?” Dustin MacKinnon, the general manager, tries to remain calm, but I can see the pulse beating fast in his neck, his fingers drumming against the top of his desk, giving his thin patience with me away.
“That’s correct.” I hold firm.
“Why?”
“I have heart palpitations. I can’t sleep. The pressure of the job is too much for me this year.” I’m not ashamed to admit that now. If I lose my job, I’m certain I will find another one because I get offers constantly, but if I lose Lily, well, that’s a different story altogether. There is only one of her. “And, as you’ll see in my doctor’s report, he diagnosed me with stress disorder. If I’m not careful, I’m at risk of complete burnout.” The doctor even mentioned the risk of a stroke or heart attack. Yeah, that’s not happening.
“We’ve never had a request like this before.”
“Your last three head coaches moved on after only a season in the role because it was too much for them.” They all coach minor divisions and college hockey now. “And one of them had a heart attack. I’m thirty-eight, Dustin. I never take a day off.” My life is passing me by.
“You did yesterday,” he cuts in, sounding bitter about allowing me one day off.
“The first in years, and I haven’t had a vacation in years either.” He knows how hard I work.
“You all get allocated the same amount of vacation time,” he reminds me as if I didn’t know that.
“And on those days, Dustin, I still do interviews on the radio or fly to television appearances. Do you know how many calls I answer a day from the players? And emails I reply to? The texts? It’s like babysitting a bunch of frat boys.” The players are unpredictable and think with their dicks. The number of times I’ve had a panicked call about yet another girl, one of them has gotten pregnant. I swear to fuck none of them got sex education in school. Except maybe Jordan. He’s quiet and reminds me of myself at that age.
I continue, “You demand more from me than most. I spend hours watching playbacks.” More than all three assistant coaches combined, which I have only just discovered. “I don’t sleep, can’t sleep. My mind and body are never off the job. I’ve been down to the police department five times in three months to talk them out of charging Wade Collins for assault. I’ve become the advice columnist for the team. And the real reason for me asking to change my role or scale down my hours is because Lily left me.” I’m out of breath as I get out everything I wanted to say, and maybe some information I didn’t. I swore I would protect Wade from management. If I’m not here, I won’t be around to do that, and ultimately, they’ll discover what’s been happening with him, so I may as well tell the truth.
Leaning forward, he brackets his fingers and rests them against his mouth. He remains quiet for much longer than I’m comfortable with. “Lily left you?” He cuts through the silence.
“I haven’t told anyone.” It’s too embarrassing. “She moved into our old apartment.”
“Are you still living at the house?”
“No.” I couldn’t handle staying there without her. “I’m living in the apartment above Home & Away.” It was sitting empty and made sense. I asked Leon and Buster to keep my whereabouts under wraps for now, but I am seriously thinking about selling the house. Lily is right. It’s too big. Empty. It’s another thing we need to talk about.
“Did you text me about quitting the night she left?”
I nod.
He sits back in his chair and lets out a long sigh. “Ash, you think I didn’t know something was wrong? Nobody quits their job via text, especially not you. Did you think I believed you when you sat here the following day and told me everything was fine, and you sent it by mistake?” The concern in his voice for my well-being makes me feel guilty for not telling him the truth sooner. “I knew something was wrong, but it’s not my place to pry. I know how private you are, Ash, but as your boss, you should have been honest with me. You can trust me.”
“I can, it’s just—”
“Difficult.”
“Very.” I take a moment before I say, “I want to save my marriage. I need time off to do that.”
“So you want to do a less demanding role?”
“And to do less hours.”
“As you know, you’re under contract, which is up for renegotiation at the end of this season. But how will continuing to be head coach work? You only attend home games? What about the pressure that will put the other coaches under? That’s not an option, Ash and the youth hockey development officer’s position has already been filled.”
Any hope of me staying with the Eagles in the capacity I want dwindles.
Then he adds, “But I’m willing to grant you a career break.”
The tension across my shoulders releases at the unexpectedness of his response.
“However, there will be conditions.”
“Okay.” I thought he might have some.
“Two months off. No pay.”
