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They say grief gets better with time. For me, it pissed me off more and more. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think of her, see her beautiful face, hear her melodious laugh, smell her sweet scent. What I didn’t get was to feel her arms around me anymore. I didn’t get to taste her cherry lips, run my hands through her silky hair, touch her soft skin. That was what I missed.
“What? What the fuck could you possibly want from me today?”
“Dude,” Gunner questioned. “Are you okay?”
“Do I fucking look okay, Cord?”
“Sorry I asked,” my brother murmured, scooting his chair away from me. King narrowed his eyes but said nothing.
Everyone in the room stared at me, unsure of what to think.
I never yelled at my brothers. I was generally the one to keep the peace, to bring laughter to these meetings. So, I got why they were all shocked at my outburst.
I couldn’t do this today.
“Shit,” King eventually muttered, shaking his head. “Fuck, Chase, I’m sorry. I forgot.”
Of course he did.
It wasn’t his woman that died. He didn’t have his heart ripped out of his chest. He wasn’t walking around a shell of the man he used to be. He had the love of his life upstairs. He had everything he wanted.
“Oh fuck,” Gunner sighed, finally catching on. “Damn it.”
“Whatever. Just finish so I can leave.”
King nodded, as he continued on with whatever was so fucking important. Sitting in this meeting was killing me. I wanted to feel the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, the cool breeze sliding across my body as I rode into the wind. I needed to hear her laughter as I revved my engine and sped down the highway, her arms tightening around me. I needed to smell the honeysuckle in her golden hair, to look up at the sun and see her soft blue eyes in the sky.
This was my day to spend with her, to imagine for just one day that she was still alive and with me.
That’s all I wanted.
One day.
My day.
The longer I sat, the more agitated I got.
Nope. Fuck this.
Getting to my feet, I didn’t ask for permission. I just fucking left, slamming the door behind me as I headed for my bike and freedom.
I didn’t know where I was going.
All I knew was that the sun was shining,and the road never stopped.
Getting on my bike, I took off and never looked back.
“Mister?” someone said, nudging my leg.
Moaning, I opened my eyes and stared at a filthy little boy, no older than six, maybe seven years old. “Yeah?”
“Wa-cha’ doing down there, mister?”
Moaning, I blinked a few times and sat up. Rubbing my eyes, I looked around, trying to figure out where the hell I was. Being raised in the Shenandoah Valley, I was used to sleeping out in the wild with my brothers. It was nothing new for us to camp and sleep under the stars. Only when I looked around, the area didn’t look like any place I knew.
Nothing looked familiar.
“You smell funny,” the kid said, wrinkling his nose.
