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“He never officially claimed Ellie, like he did you. There was an incident where a boy hit Ellie at a dance and Chase made it clear to everyone that she was under his protection. But he never formally claimed her. When he claimed you in Beth’s coffee shop, he knew what he was doing. Chase never does anything without thinking it through. But he also knew he’d been a dick to you, that you wouldn’t easily accept his claim. So, he courted you. Taking his time, giving you time to see a side of himself that he rarely shows. During that time, he would sit down with me and King and talk about everything from his fears, his grief, his inability to forgive himself for Ellie’s death. But also, during that time, he talked about you. About how happy you made him feel. He loves you deeply, Skylar. More than I think he even realizes. But more importantly, he’s scared of losing you like Ellie.”
“He doesn’t want to have sex with me.”
Scribe smirked. “Trust me, Sky. He does, but he’s not emotionally ready for that. Chase isn’t like the other brothers in the club. He doesn’t sleep around. King told me that Chase only had one girlfriend before he married Ellie. One, Skylar. Chase was thirty-two when he married Ellie. He was twenty-one when he had sex for the first time. That’s unheard of in a biker club and to only have one sexual partner before getting married?”
I knew what he was saying, and it was a shock to hear.
I thought Chase was more experienced than that.
“When Ellie turned eighteen, everything happened so fast. One minute they were married, the next she was gone. He never dated Ellie. Never courted her. He’s got it into his head that if he put the brakes on their relationship, took his time, she would still be here. That’s what he’s most angry about. He believes he stopped her from having a life she deserved.”
“But he knows what I want. I’ve been crystal clear with him.”
“I know,” Scribe nodded. “And Chase wants the same thing, but you are only a year older than Ellie was when she died. He thinks if he pushes you too hard, he will make a mistake and lose you forever. So, him not wanting to have sex with you isn’t about you, Skylar. It’s because he’s making sure you are ready.”
Sighing, I looked at Scribe and whispered, “He wanted to wait until after we were married, didn’t he?”
“Yeah,darlin’, he did. Chase is the club romantic. King blames his mom for that. Chase and his mom were really close. She taught him that someone special is worth waiting for.”
“I ruined everything.”
Reaching for my hands, Scribe whispered, “No, you haven’t Sky. Believe it or not, you and Chase are a lot alike. You both know what you want. You both are romantics at heart and you both are survivors of heartbreak. You two just suck at communication.”
I chuckled at that.
“How do I fix this?”
“By talking to me.”
I twisted in my chair to see Chase standing in the doorway. He looked horrible and I was partly to blame for that. I knew that now. Instead of listening when he wanted to explain, I shut him down.
That was on me.
Slowly getting to my feet, I walked over to him.
“You look horrible.”
“Well, in my defense, someone I care for deeply just broke up with me, so I think I get a pass.”
Scribe walked over, slapped Chase on the shoulder and smirked. “You two kids behave. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“That’s not much, asshole, considering you and Gunner ran a tight race in the bedroom department.”
“Yeah, and now I’m top dog,” the man grinned unrepentantly.
Quickly kissing the side of my head, Scribe ducked out, leaving Chase and I alone. I didn’t know what to do or say. This was uncharted territory for me. I never had a boyfriend, or a former fiancé before. How did someone move on from this?
“I don’t know what to do or say?”
“There’s nothing to say, Skylar. I should have been up front with you from the beginning,” he carefully said, looking around the small space, frowning. “Will you go somewhere with me?”
Taking his hand, I nodded.
Neither of us said anything as he drove me back up the mountain. I didn’t ask where he was taking me and was about to when he drove past the clubhouse but when he turned down a tree covered gravel road sometime later, I finally asked, “Where are we going?”
“Someplace we can talk without interruption,” he said as he slowed his truck when a beautiful log cabin came into view. The whole front of the cabin was one solid glass window. The stunning cabin was a work of art. I’d never seen anything like it before. From the multitude of windows, to inviting stone covered porch, to the circled driveway.
Parking his truck in front of the house, he turned off the engine but didn’t get out. Unbuckling his seatbelt, he gripped the wheel tightly as he slowly turned to look at the front door.
