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I’m not, actually. I just don’t have the energy to put into it right now.
“Hawk stopped by.”
I see E tense. “And how’d that go? I’m guessing he was his usual joyful self.”
“Oh, he was in a mood.”
“What did he say?”
“It doesn’t matter. None of it does. Greg made him leave.” I blow out a breath as E reaches for my hand.
“Avery.”
I stare out the window as my tears fall down my face, scorching a fiery path through the numbness. “I don’t understand why they hate me so much.”
“They love you. Sometimes the lines between love and hate blur so much that we confuse one emotion with the other. If they really hated you, they wouldn’t come to see you.”
“Maybe,” I whisper, wishing right now for the numbness to return.
“I’ve started doing a little digging into what we talked about, but it’s going to take time. In the meantime, I’m going to tighten up our security and make sure everyone is on guard. Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“How come you never told Hawk and Creed about your job?”
“When we first met, I was in a different department, remember? But besides that, everything I do requires my silence. I’ve signed NDAs and contracts that bind my hands and my words. And at the time, I was more than willing to do so if it meant saving just one child’s life.”
“And now?”
“Now…” I shrug, wincing in pain. “I still believe in what I do, but the department I was moved to wasn’t what I signed up for. Yes, I still save missing children, but at what cost?”
E squeezes my hand. “I understand. I’ve been on the wrong side of the government’s agendas one too many times for me to ever see them as good guys, but I’m not blind, Avery. I dig through a lot of shit in my line of work. A lot of it I don’t have the clearance to even know exists. So, I know for every shitty, duplicitous asshole out there, there is someone working tirelessly behind the scenes, trying to do the right thing.”
I nod.
“Hell, most won’t even receive any kind of recognition.”
“They don’t do it for the recognition. Well, that’s not why I do it, anyway. The second we walk into that building, every action we take, every word we speak, hell, every breath we breathe is all for the kids we desperately want to find.”
“You’re the unsung heroes.”
“We’re not heroes. We are just humans who care. And yeah, maybe that’s an anomaly these days, but it shouldn’t be. If we stop caring and stop trying to right the wrongs, we’re just animals.”
The look on his face makes me swallow.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. You just look different when you talk about this. You get so animated and passionate. After everything you’ve seen…” His voice trails off, and it’s my turn to squeeze his hand.
“I’ve seen the worst humanity has to offer,” I confirm. “But I’ve also seen the best too.”
I fill E in on as much of my job as I can and my fears for the children we’re saving. E’s eyes rove over my face as I talk, and something in his expression makes me squirm.
“We’re going to figure this out. I need to talk to Oz and Zig and explain what’s going on. And then I think you should sit down with everyone and explain it yourself, in your own words.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Hawk and Creed want me gone. And honestly, I don’t think I can handle many more confrontations. I’ve done what I set out to do, and that’s give you all the information I had. What you do with that is up to you. We can exchange numbers, and I can help out remotely if you need anything else, but this isn’t my home anymore, E. And I have other people relying on me.”
He doesn’t look happy, but before he can say anything else, a nurse bursts into the room, growling at him.
