Page 10 of My Hope


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I was happy here. This last month or so with Anna, every time we’ve been together I hadn’t thought about the current job or the next job. I hadn’t wanted to go out looking for the next girl. I had been happy, even excited to call Anna.

“I think your phone is ringing.” Anna woke me as she mumbles from beneath her blanket cocoon. I must have dozed off. She grumbled as I moved her head to get up.

It was Sean again. I had him poking some sleeping giants, asking questions about my mother. I must’ve let something slip on my face because Anna questioned what was wrong.

“Nothing. Just work.” I replied and I answered as walked into the hall.

“What’s up?” I waited until the door closed.

“You know a Matthew McConnell?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve spoken to a few guys. It seems he was there that night.”

“Thanks, Sean.”

Levi’s father, Matthew McConnell, was born and bred in Boston. Loyal to my father since I could remember. He was the legal counsel for the Kavanagh family for many years, however, he was mostly retired now.

I went back inside; I tried not to think about the favor I was going to have to ask Levi. Luna bounded over to me. And I grabbed some ice cream from the freezer.

“Aww, you know the way to my heart.” Anna smiled as I brought over two spoons. She shared her blanket and we dug in. A normal couple, and a dog, eating ice cream in front of the TV, was this what I wanted for my future?

“Was your phone call bad news?” Anna asked between spoonfuls.

“Just family stuff.”

“Is everything alright? I don’t really know a whole lot about your family. Is it your brother?”

“Issues with Dad. There’s not much to know about my family. We don’t talk very much. I’d rather not let it mess up our night.” I know it wasn’t what she was looking for, but I didn’t even want to let the knowledge of my family enter whatever this relationship was.

At about midnight, I carried her to her room and let myself out. In a perfect world, I could choose this for myself. If I had been born differently it could’ve been my future. But fate is a bitch, indifferent to what we yearn for.

* * *

I was dripping sweat in a smelly gym. Round after round with Levi, kicking his ass was the ending I needed to my week. The information about my mother left me with so many fucking questions. Or really the lack of information. I hadn’t really let Dunne elaborate before I shot him. But he had said enough to pique my curiosity. I had been sending Sean around asking a few things as discreetly as he could. I had been asking a few questions myself. But my mother was not a subject that you brought up in the Kavanagh family and it seemed like the people I need to talk to were either Levi’s father or mine. Mine was not an option. Yet.

“You’re in a hell of a mood. I haven’t seen you shoot the shit like this in a good long while. It didn’t seem like you were trying to kill me this time. What’s up?” Levi tossed me the water bottle.

“Life is just good. Job has been easier lately. I met someone.” I didn’t look at him, I didn’t want to see the smirk on his face.

“Whoa. Wilder Kavanagh. Most eligible bachelor is dating a girl. Like only one girl?”

“Is that so unbelievable?”

“A little. Who is she?”

“Her name is Anna. She works at the humane society. You’d like her.”

“Let’s go out tomorrow. I want to meet her.”

As Levi and I made plans for tomorrow night, the feeling in the pit of my stomach grew. Anna and I would meet Levi at Paradiso. Taking her to Paradiso, one of my family businesses, and introducing her to Levi was pushing the boundary of serious. It was bringing her close to the world I didn’t want her to know about.

“Great. There’s something else I wanted to ask you about. Your father was around the house a lot around the time when my mom left wasn’t he?”

Levi stopped putting his things away. “Yes.”

I suddenly didn’t feel so sure about asking this. I had asked a few other guys about my mother recently. Guys who could’ve been there, guys who had just been in the family a long time. And I hadn’t gotten anything to back up what Dunne had said. “I wanted to ask him about that night.”

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