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Friends. Adventures. Companionship. He wanted to help people.
Really help them. Not just parade around with a smile and offer them a modicum of his attention, as if that was some great privilege.
“On a more practical note,” Erus continued as he twirled him in a tight circle before pulling him back. “What will happen when you become king? No matter what decisions you make, you’ll never make everyone happy.”
“I have never expected to be universally loved. Besides, it will hopefully be a long time before I have to make those types of decisions.”
“Why do I get the feeling ‘a long time’ means ‘never?’ You are the next in line, and—”
“And I never asked for it!” Orrin snapped.
“Okay, easy, asteraki.”
Suddenly, everything went black, his chest constricted, and pressure built in his temples. In the next instant, the discomfort vanished, and he found himself standing in the middle of the common room in his suite.
His location wasn’t the only thing that had changed, either. Instead of his dazzling white tuxedo, he now wore a pair of light gray joggers and a black, oversized knit sweater that slouched off one shoulder. A pair of white socks with rainbow polka dots adorned his feet, and his hair had been plaited to one side and fell over his chest.
“Come.” Taking him by the shoulders, Erus led him to the sofa and settled down beside him where he produced a steaming mug of hot cocoa from thin air. “Sit.” He pressed the mug into Orrin’s hands. “Drink.”
“You know—” Orrin smiled against the rim of his mug before taking a sip. “—other than the fact that you sound like you’re talking to a dog, you’re really good at taking care of people.”
“No.” Erus shook his head. “I might be good at taking care of you, but don’t mistake that for me being a good person in general. I’m not gentle like you. I don’t have the same moral compass or even the same regard for life that you do.”
“I won’t argue about your moral compass, but you’re not a bad person.”
“I am selfish. Arrogant. Impatient. I care little for others. Period. Their lives are fleeting, and quite honestly, meaningless in the grand scheme of things.” He pinched a lock of stray hair that had fallen into Orrin’s face and tugged it playfully. “You, however, Orrin Nightstar, are extraordinary. Therefore, I make an extraordinary effort to be better when I’m with you.”
The confession warmed him far better than the cocoa ever could. Sure, there had been a lot of less-than-desirable things mixed in there, but he still didn’t believe those things made his mate a bad person. A bad god? Whatever.
He had never been anyone’s exception before. Maybe it was egotistical, but that was enough for him.
“Now, talk to me.” Turning sideways to face him, Erus bent one leg to rest it on the cushions. “What did you mean about not asking to inherit the throne?”
“I…” He had never expressed his feelings about the situation to anyone before. He had never even admitted out loud to himself. “I think the people deserve someone who aspires to the position, and that’s not me.”
A deep sense of shame flooded him as the words spilled from his lips. There were millions of people throughout the world who would gladly trade places with him, but he couldn’t change what he wanted. And what he wanted wasn’t the life he had.
“The entire concept of royalty is antiquated anyway, especially after the instatement of the Ministry.” Erus shrugged. “What? Did you think I was going to argue?”
“Actually, yes.” Maybe not argue exactly, but he had anticipated some sort of lecture about duty and responsibility.
“We’re still getting to know each other, but I thought it would have been clear by now that the only thing I care about is you. As long as you are safe and happy, that’s all I want.” He shrugged again. “If being king doesn’t make you happy, then fuck it. You have a sister, right?”
“I do, but—”
“Is she capable?”
Orrin nodded. There were still things she needed to learn, experiences she needed to have, but yes. One day, she would be more than capable of taking over the kingdom.
“Does she want the position?”
He dipped his head again. Although he had never asked her outright, she wasn’t shy about voicing her opinion on the unfairness that Orrin would take over simply because he’d been born first.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“My father will never allow it.”
There was no rule saying that females couldn’t rule. If he abdicated the throne, the mantle would legally pass to her after their father’s death or retirement. It had always been made clear, however, that the role would fall to Orrin.
