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We both watched Maddy, and there was a nice easy energy between us. It didn’t seem like the time to talk to her about why things were so off between her and Jason. I just wanted to enjoy the moment.
“Sorry I didn’t help you with the stroller yesterday morning,” I said, after a while. “I could hear you struggling in the hallway, but I was too caught up in my own stuff. A mountain of paperwork and my own self-importance. I was being a dick. Sorry. If I’d heard you this morning, I would have helped.”
“I left it downstairs, after yesterday,” she said. ‘But thanks. It’s not your job to help me out with stuff like that, and please don’t feel you have to, though. But I do appreciate it. When I’m in the middle of a living nightmare like that over the simplest thing, I get really angry with anyone who doesn’t seem to get that I’m struggling so badly.” She blushed a little. “I probably did bash it about a little more than necessary, when I was heavily resenting you for not coming to help me.”
I smiled too then, and I felt my shoulders relax.
Her phone beeped again. “Shit,” she cried, making a mom nearby turn around and give us a disapproving look. I found myself feeling defensive of Mary-Beth and looked right back at the woman. I saw the moment when she recognized me – I’m used to seeing that shift in people’s faces. She smiled, blushed, then went back to helping her toddler climb backwards up the slide.
I watched Mary-Beth push Maddy on the swing while wrestling with her phone and a sheath of papers pulled from her bag. I gestured ‘here, let me’ and took over pushing the swing.
“No, I cleaned the whole place really well. Yeah, and about the air con, that was already broken when I moved in there. I complained about it three times since the weather warmed up – it was affecting my daughter’s sleep. But nothing was done about it.”
Pause. She listened. She bristled. “No. I want that whole deposit back.” Her voice and confident tone broke a little. “I need it back.”
I got a really strong urge to take the phone from her, wade in and make whatever idiot that was on the other end give her full deposit back. And then get that person fired. But, of course, that wouldn’t have been at all helpful. Instead, I kept pushing Maddy on the swing. She’d been a little startled and suspicious of me at first, but then my impressions of farmyard animals – a different one every time she swung forward towards me, had won her over.
Mary-Beth shared a few choice pieces of feedback about the leasing agent’s people skills. Then she said that if she didn’t see her deposit back in her bank account by the end of the day, she’d be escalating the matter to his or her boss, and ended the call.
“You’re fierce! You do not need some misguided chest-thumping alpha male to wade in for you, then,” I said, as she shoved the papers angrily back into her bag.
“No, I don’t,” she said, giving me a smile and relaxing again. But you’re doing good with the Madster there.”
Maddy loomed towards me again and I made a loud ‘Moo!’ noise. She laughed and kicked her legs merrily. I couldn’t help grinning. “This takes me right back to when Kayla was this age,” I said. My heart filled suddenly, feeling all that love again. “It’s not that I don’t feel the love for her now,” I found myself saying, “Of course I do. But this is… it’s just so much simpler, in a way.”
“I noticed that things aren’t exactly great between you two,” said Mary-Beth. “She’s at a difficult age. I remember when I was thirteen. It wasn’t pretty.”
I cringed. “And it wasn’t very long ago,” I said.
She smiled. “What does age matter when you’re both adults?” she said. “Women are more mature than men anyway.”
I laughed out loud at that, which startled Maddy. I had to do a quick chicken noise, and some funny clucking arm movements with it, to stop her from bursting into tears.
“Good save,” said Mary-Beth, as Maddy laughed at my funky chicken. “I’m officially impressed.” We watched Maddy for a while, and then she said, “She’s probably still reeling from your divorce, and school can be so hard at that age. All that friends’ stuff…”
It seemed like she was about to say more and I wondered what Kayla had told her. But I didn’t push it. If my daughter had told Mary-Beth anything during their trip to the mall yesterday, that was between the two of them. This nanny thing wasn’t a way for me to invade her privacy and get information about her that she didn’t want to share with me.
“From what I remember, with all the popularity and friendship drama, it can feel like a jungle, and you’re out there at school and in the world. You can feel really vulnerable and exposed, with all these raw feelings, and hormones raging,” said Mary-Beth.
I stared at her. I hadn’t thought of it like that. Thirteen felt like several lifetimes ago to me – it was hard to remember the thoughts and feelings I had back then. And also, Kayla was a young woman – it was sure to be very different for her. “You’ve got a good handle on this stuff,” I said to her. “I just wish Kayla and I could bond more, but she doesn’t want to spend time with me. She just wants me to pay for everything and leave her alone.”
“I’m sure that’s not true,” Mary-Beth said. “She didn’t talk to me much either, at the mall. Well, she warmed up a little by the end, but she was soon back to grunts and silence in the car.”
“I wanted to ask how your first assignment as her nanny went,” I said. “Well, your first assignment since you forgot to collect the cello.”
She grinned at me. “Oh, on that, I felt bad about forgetting,” she said. “So, I called around and got her teacher’s number and explained the situation. The neighbor has a spare key and we met her there yesterday to get it. It’s now in Kayla’s room.”
“Wow, that’s impressive,” I said, surprised.
“Did you hit my AmEx hard?”
She laughed. “No. She got a few t-shirts, which I couldn’t tell the difference between. She wanted me to make a large donation to saving the sea turtles on it, when we were stopped by a charity rep, but I said no, just in case that wasn’t okay with you.”
“A reasonable donation is always fine with me,” I said. “But thanks for checking. And good work on the shopping. Kayla needs some new clothes - she’s growing so fast at the moment – but it’s essentials only and maybe one treat thing, you know, like a smoothie or a little makeup thing.”
She laughed. “Aren’t you a billionaire?”
I bristled, “Yes, but this isn’t about money. It’s about appreciating what we have and being mindful of the planet’s resources.”
