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“You’re not supposed to carry it at all. I’m strong,” Ximena said. “I can help you carry it.”
“Carry what?”
“Everything. Anything. All the things that keep you up at night. The things that keep you hidden in the shadows. I’m not afraid of the dark, you know. I may be shorter and younger, but I’m pretty tough too.”
An uneven breath left Vera as she looked away. How badly she wanted to lean on Ximena, on anyone. To feel the relief of weight, to be able to breathe again. It felt like one of her lungs was limping along, her spine folded forward from the load. But it was hers to carry and hers alone. Teddi nearly dying because of her foolishness proved that. The mortal fear she felt seeing her, blood on her face, mud caking every inch of her in that glade. Deep claw marks gouged the earth in front of her knees as if she’d tried crawling towards the circle only to be dragged back. It struck a kind of terror inside Vera she didn’t think was humanly possible to feel and survive.
“There are things I can’t tell you about my life, Mimi. Not just because I legally can’t but because I don’t want to. I don’t want them being anywhere near you.” Her sister squeezed her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when Alex disappeared and I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you. Not for a long time.”
Her words stretched out around them. There wasn’t tension but there was the discomfort of admitting the pain she caused. “I forgive you and I’m sorry for pushing you to go back to that town for him. I never should have forced you to spend time with Teddi. I think some part of me did it to hurt you back.” Vera laughed softly, turning on her side so they faced one another. “There’s that vicious streak. I knew you hadn’t lost it.”
Ximena shoved her playfully before cupping her hands beneath her chin. “Lo siento.”
“Don’t be.” Her sister’s smile was a sad curve that didn’t reach her eyes.
Bzzt. Bzzt.
Rolling back to the nightstand, she grabbed her phone.
“I’ll be right back.” Slipping out from underneath the covers, she pulled on a pair of rain boots and a jacket.
With a steadying breath, she opened the front door.
Chapter 47
Teddi
“Hi.”
“Hey.” Teddi’s tattered voice broke as she took her in. Puffy jacket over a long sleep shirt and boots, she was ruffled. Striking in the contrast between the glow of her skin and the dark of her features in the soft light.
A recognizable ache awoke inside her alongside enough guilt to kill. She left Vera to fend for herself, allowing her to be captured by those women and touched by that thing. Ghost or god, she didn’t know. But it was real. As real as the way she’d promised she would believe her but at the first bit of information from J, she turned on her.
She needed answers and Mackey remained tight-lipped. There was no evidence so far to connect the women to the murders. The bodies were missing. The root cellar in the glade led to a series of underground tunnels but nothing substantial had been found so far. No one was talking. They were back at square one but this time everyone was ready to wash their hands of it all.
It took Teddi twenty minutes of letting her butt freeze on the porch wood before sending the text to let her know she was there. As Vera lowered herself onto the step next to her, she never looked over at her, never met her gaze.
“I never let you go, Teddi.” The words stunned her. “I didn’t tell you before because it felt like there was no point in saying it out loud. Maybe there’s still no point in telling you but I wanted you to know that no matter what happens after tonight, you know that I hate that we broke up. I hate that we didn't talk for so long. But most of all, I never found it within myself to truly hate you and I've missed you every day since.”
It wasn’t what she expected to hear. Anger, pain, blame, yes. Never the words she yearned to hear for a decade and it broke her heart. “I’m sorry, Vera.” She pulled at the edge of the bandage on her hand. "I'm sorry I ruined everything between us. I'm sorry down to my bones that I hurt you. And I'm sorry I left you there. I told you I’d be there for you and at the first chance, I left. You could’ve died. I almost watched you die in that field and I’m sorry, more so than I could ever express. I was terrified but all I could do was keep screaming your name.”
“I didn’t hear you screaming." She looked down at the goosebumps broken out across her thighs and squeezed her knees together. "I can hear that fire when I think of it. I’ve never heard anything like it before. Raging, bellowing, howling fire. Like an animal.” Her voice drifted away on the memory. Teddi could hear it too. She would never stop hearing it, never stop seeing Vera in that tornado of red surrounded by murderers.
“I don't blame you for leaving, Teddi. I wanted you to go, I wanted you safe." The words should’ve been a relief, a balm against the shame and guilt. But the way Vera's gaze finally locked onto hers sent a shiver down her spine instead. "Remember when I told you I was undercover with a cult when Alex disappeared?” Teddi nodded.
A bone-deep sigh deflated her shoulders. “The thing about them is that they’re a different kind of cult than we’re used to seeing. It wasn’t just about spiritual enlightenment. They believe that through the drugs they’ve created, they can access their true selves. Like unlocking the gates to Heaven through hallucinations. That’s why they call themselves The Unveiled. The leaders, Adrian and Satine, built their community by preying upon young kids. The unhoused, addicts, teens desperate for family and stability. For someone to say they cared about them. Kids that reminded me of Sam. By the time I applied for the task force to go undercover, they were pushing distribution from Jersey to D.C. with a trail of bodies in their wake.”
"Shit." Teddi studied her fair share of cults but she never encountered one focused on drugs to access a perceived higher power. It wasn’t just psychological manipulation but also physical, introducing a whole new level of danger and control.
“Exactly. Shit. That’s what it was from the jump. Six bodies were found with their synthetic drug in their systems. We still don’t know what’s in it entirely but it’s dangerous. One hit and it can kill. Or it can make you think you can reach beyond this reality, you never know which.” The desire to slide closer to her, to touch her, was overwhelming. Teddi moved an inch, feeling her body heat. Vera didn’t seem to notice as her eyes glazed over. “I lived on their property with a slew of other people trying to prove their way into the inner circle. I got in through Adrian. He liked me and I thought I could manipulate him to get what we needed to build the case against them for the deaths and drug manufacturing. But he was so much smarter than I gave him credit. He was sly, so manipulative that it all began to skew in my mind. I was losing my footing, even with my handler to keep me tethered, I let myself get in too deep.”
“Did you… were you together?”
Vera’s lips rolled between her teeth. Her chest expanded on a long inhale that whooshed out of her loudly. “No. He tried and I kept avoiding it but I think we were coming to a point of me either giving in to what he wanted and getting into that circle of trust or getting pushed away and punished, losing every chance I had to get information I needed.
“A teen was found dead in Jersey City. It was labeled an overdose like all the others. I wasn’t there for it but he’d been found in a public park. His dad, whom he hadn’t seen in months because of the isolation the cult enforced, went on a war path looking for Adrian and Satine after his death. Anyone connected to the cult was guilty by association. By the time he found us, we were settled on the farm in Fredericksburg.” Her voice turned tinny. “Robin Vale, that was the father’s name.”
She recognized it from J’s digging and the newspaper article she found. His wife was quoted in it saying Robin never gave up on their son after he left home. He was desperate to find him and bring him back safe from the clutches of a religion neither of them believed in.
