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He looked up at me and I could sense the pain in his voice. I reached out this time, palm open and facing up, and he took my fingers. I squeezed tight, holding him as the memories worked their way across his face.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry about both Giada and your child.”
He squeezed my fingers. “Thank you. I didn’t have to watch her drown, but I could feel her panic. In the Pack, we’re connected, though it’s strongest between mated pairs. I knew something was wrong. I didn’t know what, but I knew it was bad. I texted her every ten minutes with no answer.” He paused, then added, “My last text was angry. I accused her of ignoring me. I pray she never saw it.”
“She didn’t,” I said. “I can feel it in my gut.” I paused as the waitress brought our appetizers. She left and then—before he had a chance to pull back, I gave his fingers another squeeze. “We’re both the victims of fate—tragedy, if you like.”
Our sharing of secrets had formed an odd bond. It felt like we were members of an exclusive club, one that I’d rather never be part of, but it bonded us together. I wanted to ask several questions: How did he move on? How had he let go of the past? Had he ever felt to blame, and what had he done about it? But it wasn’t the right time to question him.
I lifted my glass. “Here’s to the past—to the people we loved. To the people who made our lives feel whole.”
He joined me, lifting his glass, but all the while, he never let go of my gaze and there were a million questions he seemed to be asking. We drank our toast, and the waitress brought our dinners. By the time we were ready to eat, the moment had passed, and we moved on to a lighter part of the date—the getting-to-know-you topics like what your favorite foods were, what kind of movies did you like, and so forth.
The evening proceeded and we left the topics of our losses untouched. It felt as though, by touching the dark, we had opened up a way to walk in the light. I knew that, if we were to continue dating, the discussion would have to come up again, but for now, I wanted to enjoy the breathing space.
To sit with a man in a restaurant without crying, letting the past be in the past for even an hour, gave me grace and a reprieve. For a while, I could pretend—and so could he. And so we ate and drank, and talked about the town and our lives, all the while keeping room between us and the edge of the chasm.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
Near the end of dinner,which had been surprisingly pleasant once we moved onto other topics, Faron cleared his throat and looked up from his crème brûlée. “Would you like to meet Elroy? I shouldn’t expect you to believe me about him until you’ve had a chance to meet him.”
I wasn’t sure how much more energy I could handle, but it seemed a fair request. I wavered. Given what Daisy had told me about him, this would be a chance to either put my suspicions to rest or to decide that I couldn’t believe in his innocence.
“Sure. Where do we have to go?”
“Usually, I’d have to take you out on the communal land, but he happens to be working tonight. He’s an architect. So we have to save it for another day.”
I must have looked startled because Faron gave me the side-eye. “What? Wolf shifters can’t be architects?”
“That’s not what I was thinking,” I said. “It’s…the way you described him, and the way that Daisy described him, I would have pegged him for a dockhand or something.”
“You can have a temper and still be smart,” Faron said.
I nodded. “I know. So what’s he doing working this late?”
“His firm is on the clock for a project that was supposed to be finished a couple weeks ago. They’re scrambling, trying to finish now. It’s the client’s fault—he kept changing his mind and then changing it back after they revised the plans. I’m not sure what the project is, but I know Elroy and his partner, Wilson, have been neck-deep trying to keep up with the requests.” Faron pushed back his plate. He glanced at mine—I’d stopped a few bits short of finishing my pie. “If you’re done, we can have them wrap up the rest of that to go with your steak.”
I’d only managed to eat half my steak, so had asked the server to wrap the rest to go. I figured Fancypants might like it, and if he didn’t, I could slice it thin and make a sandwich out of it.
“I’m good,” I said, taking one last bite. “Dinner was wonderful, but I don’t have much of an appetite tonight.”
I didn’t want him to think I hadn’t enjoyed myself, though I wasn’t exactly sure if I had. But Faron had been polite, and I was surprised by how open he had been about his losses and his life. Plus, I found myself staring into those gorgeous eyes, falling into their coffee-dark light. It was hard to look away, and it was hard to admit that I was attracted to the man.
He motioned for the check and when the waitress handed it to him, he placed his credit card in the leather check holder. The server gave him a faint nod and, after asking if everything had been acceptable, left.
“Thank you for tonight,” Faron said.
“I’m glad you asked,” I said, pushing back my chair as we waited for the check to come back. When the waitress appeared, he glanced at the total, wrote in a tip, then signed the slip. The waitress returned his card to him and we stood, weaving through the tables on our way to the door. As we ventured into the cool night air, I found myself imagining him taking me in hand, pulling me to him for a kiss, slipping his hand under my shirt. As I shivered, he escorted me into the night and we headed for the car.
* * *
Downtown Starlight Hollowwas a lovely place at night. With most of the crowds out of the way, only a few wayward souls straggled through the city streets, most in search of the next bar, and even the drunks were reasonably pleasant.
Still, as we walked back to the car, I slid closer to Faron, nervous about being out at night, especially after we’d had a couple of drinks.
But this isn’t Port Townsend. What happened to you was one in a million. It won’t happen again. You can’t spend your life jumping at shadows, can you?
I tried to ignore the voice, but I couldn’t. I took a deep breath and stepped away from his side, glancing around me as I tried to unbiasedly analyze the energy in the streets tonight.
