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More than the sub, though, she thought about how much she didn’t want to be just friends. Didn’t want her marriage with Mark to be only about sitting together and talking and easy silences with separate rooms.
Could she tell him?
“Pam?” he said, interrupting her thoughts as he brushed off his hands after finishing the last of his sub.
“Hmm?” she said, trying to bite down on her tongue. She didn’t want to ruin what they had together.
“I think that even if your mother never gives you the inheritance, you’ll have enough money from all the pledges to go ahead with your charter school. You’ll probably never make a ton of money with it-”
“I don’t care!”
“I didn’t think you did.”
“And it’s us. We’ll have enough money from all the pledges. This is not just me.”
His grin was slow and sweet. “I’m good with that.”
“I think when two people get married, they become one.”
“That’s what the Bible says.”
“So, if I have an inn, we do.”
“And if I have a landscaping business, we do.”
“Well, you had that before we were married.”
“It doesn't matter. Two become one.”
She swallowed. Now was her chance to tell him how she really felt. But her mouth wouldn’t work.
“You know, you could still hire a lawyer and get your inheritance. It would take them two seconds-”
“I can’t. I don’t even want to consider it. I don’t want to take my mom to court. The Bible says we shouldn’t take other Christians to court.”
He sighed in a way that let her know that he wasn’t entirely sure her mother was actually a Christian. She couldn’t argue with that. She wasn’t sure herself.
“She’ll give me the money eventually.” That she was sure of. Her mother was a lot of things, but a thief was not one of them.
“I admire your patience. I’m not sure I’d want to wait.”
“I’d rather never get the money and still have a relationship with my mom. Even if it isn’t the greatest. Even if she’s not perfect and we’ll never have the close relationship I dream about, I’d rather have what I can than ruin it fighting in court.”
Mark looked down at his lap, like her words had made him think. Or like he disagreed and didn’t want to argue. So much for the perfect time to tell him how she felt. She’d totally ruined the mood. If they’d even had a “mood.”
“Pam?”
“Yeah?” She held her breath. Was he going to demand that since he was her husband, he could make her go after the money? Mark wouldn’t. She was pretty sure he wouldn’t, anyway.
“I love you.” He grunted and looked away. “That was clunky and awkward.” He lifted his head and looked her in the eye while his hand landed on her knee as she sat crossed legged on the floor. “I told you when we started this that I didn’t want us to ever be anything more than friends because that would ruin everything, but I seem to have not listened to myself. I don’t expect you to say or do anything, but I can’t keep pretending I’m not spending most of the time we’re together thinking about kissing you.”
That made her blink. Then blink some more. He’d said he loved her. She thought he was talking about a friendship kind of love where he disagreed with what she was doing but admired her for it anyway.
Wow. She had been way off the mark. Her palms started to sweat.
Mark thought about kissing her.
“You could stop thinking about it and just do it,” she whispered, although she wasn’t sure where those words came from. Her heart and soul, maybe, since she wanted him to kiss her with her entire being.
