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My legs did go out this time, and I grabbed the table so I didn’t fall. A baby. Austin was going to be a father… he always wanted to be a daddy, and I knew he’d be a damn good one. “I’ll do everything different with my kids, Paris. They’ll actually know what if feels like to be loved by their father. I know you’re gonna spoil them, too, but I’m glad. They’ll know what a real family should be.” God, I was going to be an aunt… but I wasn’t. No. I didn’t deserve that title. Frankie did, though. She’d be a great aunt. As happy as I was for my brother’s babies, I wanted to scream for how angry I was that I lost my chance to be an auntie. “Tell them congratulations.” I barely got the words out.
“You’ll regret this,” Frankie warned. “Whatever you think of them and whatever reason you believe they don’t want you in their life is bullshit and it’s wrong.”
Great, she was getting mad. I could work with this. “I almost tore them apart. They almost broke up because of me, so no, Frankie, I’m not wrong.”
“If I remember right, it wasn’t just you. It was your parents who manipulated that situation. You were just their means to an end, and from what Austin says, that wasn’t the first time they used you.”
It was one of the first for my mom because she was usually never around. But my dad? I lost count of how many times he played me like a puppet. “No, Frankie. I orchestrated that. I set Piper up to think Austin was cheating on her so she’d get the fuck away from him.” I had to put the nail in the coffin. “My only regret is that it didn’t work.”
She threw her hands in the air. “You really believe that? Fine.” She huffed as she picked up the box. “Whatever. Just think about it, okay? Call your brother.”
That wasn’t going to happen.
She didn’t stick around, and I went back to cleaning up and gathering half-empty bottles of champagne until the room was spotless. I shut the lights off, sat in the corner, and slid down to my ass, then pulled the rest of the bottles between my legs and didn’t let a drop go to waste.
I drank every warm bubble until the pain of knowing I’d never meet my niece or nephew went away. I almost forgot that when Austin and I were younger, we played like normal kids and talked about the future before we knew how grim it would be.
He wanted three boys, and I just wanted a little girl. Someone to spoil like I thought I had been, a little friend to dress up with and a lifelong bestie. But I’d never have that, and the idea was so far out of reach that the impossibility ceased to exist.
Being reminded was not just a thought, but the reality that Austin’s dreams were coming true and I wasn’t going to be there for him hurt more than anything I’d ever experienced. Even hearing women talk about me like I was vermin hurt less.
All I wanted was to forget, so I went about doing just that.
“Paris. My God.” A voice penetrated the darkness but was too muffled to make sense. “Are you all right?” Was that Scotty? It sounded like him. “Jesus, babe.” Yeah, it was him, but why was he here. “Hey, look at me, sugar.”
I felt hands under my pits and then fingers on my jaw, tilting my head back. My lids fluttered opened and an involuntary smile pulled at the corners of my lips at not one but two sexy Scottys in front of me. “Whatreyou doin’ hur?”
“How much did you drink?”
A bottle clanked when I was lifted to my feet. “I dunno… am I still alive?”
“Luckily.”
“Then I didn’t drink enough.”
“Fuck,” he hissed and jostled me. “Come on, let me get you home.”
I swayed and then was lifted into his arms, and I barely even looked at him before my head crashed into his shoulder and I passed out…
A bright light bore into my eyes, and I winced. “Stop.” I weakly swatted at whoever was touching me.
“Paris, it’s Beck. Can you look at me?”
“Beck?” I lifted my head and chewed on air. “Why are you…?” I blinked and saw my ceiling. And then I felt his hand on my neck, and I screamed. “Don’t touch me!” I tried to back away, but I knew I was stuck when I hit my headboard. No! I couldn’t get away. I pulled my knees to my chest and shoved my head into them. “Please no, please don’t, please no, please don’t.” I rocked back and forth and whimpered when the weight on the bed shifted. “You said no more.”
“Physically, she’s fine, but whatever this is, is not okay,” Beck rumbled, his voice further away.
“I didn’t know.” That was Bristol, and she sounded like she was crying.
Why was she here, and why was she so sad? “Bristol?” I felt something next to me and jerked away from it.
“Yeah, Paris. It’s just me. Bristol. I’m here.”
“Where are you…?”
“I’m with you at your apartment. Can you look at me, Paris?”
I squinted my eyes tight and opened them to see my blush-pink bedspread, then raised my head. A wave of nausea hit me so fast that I lurched forward. “Sick,” I mumbled before I shot off the bed and fell to my hands and knees. I started crawling but felt my body lifted, and then I was being carried to the bathroom just in time.
