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I kept expecting his hands to wander south, but they never did. He was a complete gentleman, even after we crawled into bed. There was something on my mind, and if we really were going to try, which I wanted so bad, I needed to be honest with him. I had to believe that I could trust him. “Scotty?”
“Yeah, sugar?”
He loosened his arms when I turned around so I was facing him. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“You said that you saw yourself reflected in my eyes.”
“I did.”
I bit my lip, afraid to upset him. “Do you… I mean, is there a part of you that just wants to fix me?”
“First, you’re not broken. But no, I don’t want to fix you. I want to be with you, and part of that, part of any healthy relationship is wanting the person you’re with to be happy, no matter how it comes or what it takes.” He traced the elastic on my pajama shorts absentmindedly. “What I meant when I said that was that I saw you’d gone through something still affecting you. What happened to my mom and me made me the man I am today, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments that the memories don’t knock me on my ass.”
“I hate that you went through what you did as a kid, your mother, too, but I’m glad that we can understand each other. That sounds bad, doesn’t it?”
“Not at all. Sometimes opposites attract, and sometimes similarities can be the driving force.”
I was starting to believe him, but doubt crept in because I didn’t think I deserved a man like him. “What’s it been in the past for you?”
“With other women?”
“Yeah.”
“Only one that matters is you.”
That was sweet. “I know you have a past. It won’t hurt me either way.”
“Honestly, Paris, I never thought about it with anyone else. I just knew with you that’s what it was, and I never, ever, felt anything anywhere near as close to the intensity as I did with you.”
“Same with me.”
He sighed, like he was finally relieved of a thousand-pound burden on his shoulders. “Good.”
“What about with… no never mind.”
“Baby, nothing is off-limits between us, okay?”
“Okay. I’m not sure if I want to know the answer, but did you ever feel anything with Bristol?”
Immediately, he said no. “Sisterly love only. Unlike us, I could tell she’d been lucky enough to grow up without the ugly touching her. She was naive, almost, and I didn’t want my brother to fuck her up, which he managed to do despite my best efforts.”
“I already told you how I feel about your guilt, I’m not gonna repeat myself because I know you heard me.”
He smirked at the words I repeated back to him. “And ya know what? You’re right. I need to let it go.”
“Good.”
He leaned in and kissed me, soft and sweet. “Good.” He propped his head up on his hand and looked at me, then hesitated before he asked, “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Where was your mother during all of this?”
I could feel that crack in my heart splitting even more. “I vaguely remember her being around when I was a kid. For the most part, Austin and I had normal lives as little kids. Things went bad when I was ten. I started, um, acting out, and the first time the principal called to tell my mom about my behaviors, she said I was an embarrassment to the family name and until I could act like a Donovan she wanted nothing to do with me.”
“At ten?”
