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Jesus Christ. “From the accident?”
“He did what he said and took care of it. We never had another nanny, and nobody asked me what happened to her. I tried to forget, and I pretended I did around him, but it haunted me. I got to high school and realized there were ways to numb the pain, and I took every one offered. Booze, pills… sex.”
My stomach clenched at the thought of some teenage prick taking advantage of her.
“I was sixteen the first time my dad asked me to go with him to a business dinner. I said no. He’d barely looked at me, let alone spoken to me the past three years, and I was angry and hurt and so confused. When I said no, that was when the blackmail started. Unless I wanted him to turn the security tape he’d kept from that day into the police, I was his little puppet. I went to dinner and sat next to the client.” She raised her head and killed a part of my soul when she said, “He was twenty-six and developing an app that my dad wanted in on, but Felix, that was his name, he wasn’t sold. He had a ton of interest, so he was weighing all of his options carefully.”
“Did he force you?”
An eerie smile formed on her lips. “No.” Thank God. “But he taught me a lesson. My dad left in the middle of dinner, and instead of taking me home when we were done eating, Felix took me to his hotel.”
“Motherfucking shit.” I got to my feet and walked around the couch, then stopped and gripped the back of it before looking at her again.
“I wasn’t a virgin, but whenever I had sex, it was because I wanted to. It was my choice, and it was the one thing I had control over. I started crying, and Felix actually stopped right away. He asked me what was wrong, and when I told him I didn’t know I was supposed to have sex with him, he got mad.”
“At you?”
I shook my head. “No. At my dad, especially when he found out I was sixteen. He was actually really nice and explained some things to me. He told me how common this was and warned me it wouldn’t be the last time. He eventually took me home, and my dad was waiting on the porch. I was terrified Felix would tell him we didn’t… instead, he thanked my dad for a fulfilling night.”
“Did he sign with Donovan Corp?”
“Yes, and Daddy was so proud of me for closing that deal. He was happy with me. For the first time in years, he was so fucking happy. That was when I knew.”
“When you knew what?” I gritted.
Her stupid, fake smile got bigger. “My purpose.”
“You’re so much more than that.”
“No, because see, it was like a game after that, and I was going to win.” She leaned her head back to rest on the wall. “If I could get the deal closed without doing it on my knees, I had to be smart. And I was. I teased them and gave subtle touches, made them think they’d get more, but they never did. And once Dad got the contract that he always somehow managed to include a loophole that gave him the control, he owned them, so there was never any retaliation.”
“Was all this right after that first meeting with Felix?”
Regret overtook her features. “No. I realized I needed to be clearheaded to survive, so I stopped all the drinking and stuff, then graduated a year early and went straight to work for the company, learning everything I needed to know from my dad. I never got to go to college or have any freedom at all.”
“I’m so sorry, Paris. That sounds awful.”
“It wasn’t that bad. If I could hurt them first, then they couldn’t hurt me.” Her chin shook with a tremble. “And I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt me again, my father included.”
“That’s understandable.”
Mike and Ike came tearing out of their room chasing each other. Genuine happiness lit up her face as she watched them. “I never slept with clients,” she admitted. “It just seemed like I did, and I never corrected anyone. I wanted the rumors. I wanted people to think I was a slutty bitch.”
“You were using that armor not only to protect yourself but to protect anyone from getting close because you were afraid of your father using them as a weapon against you.”
She laughed humorlessly. “Exactly. He was ruthless. I’d seen him threaten employees’ families, and it wasn’t worth the risk. Along the way, I made myself believe that’s all I was worth and who I really was, and I did everything I could to convince the rest of the world the same, so being alone didn’t hurt so much.”
“Do you have any idea how admirable that is? How strong you have to be to endure that?”
She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I only did it because I didn’t have a choice. Once Austin was an adult and could take care of himself, I should have turned myself in.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. It was an accident, Paris. You wouldn’t have gotten charged in the first place.”
“I’m sure Daddy would have found a way to lock me up until he decided he needed me for something.”
“Ya know Austin said that you closed deals because of how smart you were and how well you could read the clients.” She let go of a small laugh. “He said that your dad made you wear low-cut tops, but your brains got shit done even though he tried to make you believe differently.”
“Yeah. It took me a long time to realize that. I’d gotten so lost in this perception of who everyone thought I’d become that it was too late to change their minds, and I didn’t want to. Not until I realized Austin could take care of himself, that he found a woman to start a family with. I just couldn’t take it and told my dad I was done, too.”
