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He had come over every night after he got home from work, sometimes later than others, and we’d eat together and cuddle on the couch while we watched TV. We’d sleep in my bed and make love, usually in the morning, too.
I was lucky. For the first time in my life, I’d struck gold.
I knew I needed to come clean about the email I’d gotten, but I also knew he’d lose his mind, and I was afraid of the consequences.
In light of everything I told him, and how good it felt for someone to finally know everything, something still bothered me. As I got older and was able to look at the things I’d done and the people I’d hurt, I felt like I was going through a twelve-step program.
After reconnecting with my brother and accepting that he and Piper didn’t hate me, I felt I got a little piece of my soul back. More importantly, it gave me the strength to continue to make amends, or at least attempt to, and I knew where I wanted to start.
Scotty told me he was going to be late tonight. He also demanded that I let him know if I was going anywhere, but this was something I had to do on my own. I knew I’d upset Scotty if he found out I didn’t tell him I’d left, but I didn’t want him interfering.
When I pulled up the driveway, the sky was getting darker as the sun set, and I realized he might not even be home. Then I saw a fancy car and a truck parked on the grass. I didn’t take the time to think they might be guest vehicles and just assumed they belonged to Hunter and his wife, Summer.
I shut my engine off but left the keys in the ignition, then took a huge breath before I got out and knocked on the front door. The second it opened, I regretted coming here.
Hunter Ryder stood there, but I could see one of his brothers and Beau Bradford sitting at his kitchen table behind him. “What are you doing here?” Hunter asked with confusion, but not anger like I expected.
“You’re busy. It’s okay… I can come back.”
“You’re here now. What do you want?”
I took a step back. “I shouldn’t have come. I’m so sorry.”
“Paris?” A punch to the gut took my breath away when I heard my brother’s voice. He appeared next to Hunter and came onto the porch right away. The screen door slammed behind him, and I jumped. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing… I… I just wanted to…” I could barely breathe, but holding on to this was killing me. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?”
“Not to you, Austin. To you.” I pointed at Hunter and apologized again. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Hunter’s head reared back. “For what?”
“Everything,” I hissed.
He pushed the screen door open and glanced back and forth between Austin and me. “Why don’t you come inside?”
“No!” I knew I wasn’t welcome, and I didn’t want to make things worse.
“Paris, what the hell?” Austin grabbed my arms and looked deep into my eyes. “My God. What is going on with you?”
Something dawned on me. “Why are you here?”
“Poker night. Now what the fuck, Paris?”
“You’re friends with the Ryders now?”
“Uh, yeah. Wilder’s wife is my wife’s twin sister. It’s kind of hard not to be, and everyone’s moved on from whatever stupid fucking feud our families had because of our grandparents decades ago. I’ve been trying to tell you that, but you refused to listen.”
The oldest Ryder brother, Maverick, joined us. “Everything okay out here?”
And that was when I lost it. Years and years and years of scalding shame and fiery regret finally erupted, and I couldn’t control the feverous words as they burned my throat, molten humiliation disintegrating my last shred of dignity. “I loved you.”
Hunter’s shoulders slumped, and he walked out like he wanted to console me, but I waved him off. “Just let me get this out.”
“Okay. I’ll stay right here.” He stopped next to my brother. Maverick, followed by the rest of the guys inside, decided to come to the party. When I took in all the faces staring at me, I realized I’d never seen them like that.
All the Ryders, Maverick, Wilder, Hunter, and their father Mack appeared concerned, Beau, too. That’s never happened. It was usually resentment and disgust aimed my way.
