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They were all that I had.
And tonight did nothing but reiterate that point.
I didn’t have a man who adored me and wasn’t ashamed to be with me. I didn’t have family suppers on Sunday, girls’ nights, or lifelong besties who knew everything about me. Nobody knew everything about me, and I thought I used to like it that way, but for a flash of time tonight, I realized how truly lonely I was because I found someone I wanted to tell all my secrets to.
It was obvious he didn’t feel the same way… wanting me to be gone before anyone would realize he fucked the town slut. Those sparks, the emotions, the dance, the care I thought he took with me? All of that was fake. It was just a way for him to fool me that he was a decent guy, but he just wanted between my legs, like everybody else.
He got what he wanted from me, then practically shoved me aside.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. I should have seen it coming.
I grew up in an empty, cold, and loveless mansion. My father was a millionaire, and my mother his arm candy who brought every stereotype to life, from sleeping with the gardener to surviving on Xanax and wine.
My father made it clear he didn’t give a shit about anything but the business, including the happiness of his children. When Austin found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, Dad didn’t approve. He gave Austin an ultimatum, and when my brother chose Piper, Dad disowned him.
If I maintained a relationship with Austin, I would get cut off, too. It was only then that I took a long hard look at myself, my family, my mistakes, regrets, what kind of life I wanted, and made my decision.
I was now in a twelve-hundred-square-foot apartment, and my cupboards were nearly bare, but my cats ate high-quality meals that cost more in a week than my food for the month.
They were worth it. They were the only loyal and trustworthy beings in my life, and although I thought maybe I was worth something more than an object tonight, the truth slapped me across the face.
So I dried my tears, took a breath, and reminded myself that I would always be alone.
One of my tabby’s nipped my arm, and I snapped out of my pity party. “Okay, okay. I get it. Y’all are hungry.” I got their raw diet out of the fridge, divided it up into their bowls, added some dry food, then took a hot shower.
Once dried off and wrapped in a towel, I plopped down on my bed, then closed my eyes.
My phone rang, and I woke up from a dead sleep. I sat with a gulp and looked at my clock to see it was nine the next morning. “Holy shit.”
I ran to my living room naked and pulled my cell out of my purse and answered Bristol’s call. “Why are you calling me on your honeymoon?” I asked as I backtracked my steps and grabbed a bra from my dresser.
“Because you left without saying goodbye. What the hell, Paris?”
Shit, I had to lie to her. “I’m sorry. I suddenly felt sick and wanted to get home as fast as I could.”
“That’s not true. I saw you leave, and a minute later, Scotty came in looking for you.”
“He did?”
“What happened? Did he say something to upset you?”
I tugged on a shirt and pulled up some panties, the lace brushed against me and the ache from how hard Scotty fucked me throbbed. “No. Nothing happened, I told you I felt sick. We’ll talk more when you get back from your honeymoon. Right now, you need to be thinking of nothing but you and the man whose name you took yesterday.”
“Oh no, we’re talking now.”
“Let me rephrase that. There’s nothing to talk about when it comes to Scotty. I want you to have the best time with Beck, so when y’all get back, we’ll do lunch and you can fill me in on your honeymoon.”
“Promise me you’re okay and that nothing happened.”
I normally had no problem bending the truth, but I felt guilty fibbing to her. “Bristol, I’m fine. Stop worrying. Absolutely nothing happened with Scotty.” Because to him, I was nothing, so that wasn’t a complete lie.
“All right. I’ll call you when I get back, and we’ll grab a bite.”
“Sounds great. Have the best time.”
We disconnected, and I plopped down on my bed, buried my face in the pillows, then burst into tears.
CHAPTER 2
