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Chapter twenty-four

Logan

I’ve fucked up badly this time. It’s been twenty-four hours since Allie walked out the door of my apartment furious at what I’d done. Not that it’s taken me that long to know I’d fucked up. I knew the moment the words, “I’ve found your mother,” left Todd’s mouth.

I meant to tell her before tonight that I’d asked Todd to find the woman, but I hadn’t found the right moment to do it. Instead, I was too busy, sinking my dick inside her and pretending everything was fine. When the truth was, I was deceiving her.

Honestly, I’m surprised he found her mother so quickly. I thought I’d have at least a week to grow some steel balls and tell her. But really there’s no excuse. I had days to talk to Allie and I chose not to. Not wanting to see the smile slip from her face with the mention of the woman who gave birth to her. It was exactly her reaction last night that I feared, and it tore my heart to shreds.

Now I’m left with apologies. Todd was the easy one. I called him about an hour after Allie left. He’s good even though he did have some choice words to say to me about what an asshole I was for blindsiding Allie like that. He’s right, I’m a fucking stupid asshole—his exact words—and I can’t disagree.

Apologizing to Allie is going to be a much tougher prospect. I tried calling her today but every one of my calls went to voice mail. My follow-up texts were ignored. Time has not lessened her anger and I don’t really blame her.

Katie will be flying in tomorrow to spend the holidays with the family. When she’s in the city, she’ll be staying with Allie until the gala on the weekend. That means there’ll be little to no chance of speaking with Allie in private.

I just need a few minutes of her time to explain why. The brown A4 envelope still sits untouched on my dining room table, a constant reminder of my fuckup. I’m not going to burn it like she said. I’m sure in time she’ll want to read what Todd found out.

When I spoke to him today, he gave me a bit of an idea about her mother’s current circumstances, and it sounds grim. He’s going to continue to dig into some leads he has surrounding her.

I pick up my phone to call Allie again. I know I could walk across the hall to her apartment, but if she’s unwilling to answer my calls, she’s hardly likely to open the door to me. And I’m not about to make a scene in my apartment building begging to be let in.

The call goes to voice mail again. I start to type another text message.

Me: Allie, I’m sorry. Will you please let me talk to you or see you?

Three little dots dance about on the screen, then disappear. A few minutes later they are back.

Allie: No. I just can’t speak to you yet.

Me: Fine, I’ll give you some time. But promise me if you get another message, you’ll let me know.

Ten minutes later and there’s still no response.

Me: Allie, please. I need to know you’re safe.

Then those torturous three dots appear.

Allie: Yes I promise. And sorry I got distracted trying to stop my dinner from catching fire.

Some of the tension eases from my shoulders. At least she is taking her safety seriously too.

***

It’s been days and still Allie won’t see me. That’s too many lonely restless nights, lying prone on my bed when what I really want to be doing is knocking on Allie’s door and begging for her forgiveness in person. My misery is a whole new level of moodiness for me. My staff would attest to that. But I don’t give two fucks.

Katie arrived a couple of days ago, and it’s the one bright point to my week. She’s probably the one person who can pull me out of my generally pissed off view of life, that’s if I now have to rule out the woman I’ve fallen for. Allie could make me smile with one sultry arch of her eyebrow, one light brush of her hand on my arm, or a teasing pout of her lips.

Tucking my chin further down into the collar of my thick coat, I burrow my gloved hands into my pockets and quicken my pace. I think it’s going to snow tonight, it’s certainly cold enough as I walk along the icy sidewalk from the office to home. My decision earlier to finally confront Allie, is motivation enough. I’m not prepared to let another day go by without speaking to her. I’ve given her time, but it’s become clear more days aren’t going to resolve this. We need to talk, and at this point, I’d even be happy to go back to when the only words we shared were taunts.

With Katie in town staying with Allie, my chances for us to catch any time alone are limited. But I know Katie is in a meeting with Hunter for at least another half hour and Allie was working from home today.

My heart races as I lift my hand to knock on her door. I wait, listening for any sound on the other side. A faint click tells me she’s on the other side and she knows it’s me.

I lean my head against the wood, and on a heavy sigh, I plead, “Allie, please let me in.” My heart pounds in my chest with increasing pace until I hear the snick of the lock being disengaged. I lift my head and the door opens.

“Logan.” The way she says my name tonight is brutal and harsh. I hate that this is what we’ve become.

“Allie. We need to talk.” My voice is a thready plea.

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