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Allie arches a brow, then continues. “Well, the little blonde in the pink dress over there is Trudy.” She doesn’t point directly at the woman but sweeps her elegant hand in the general direction of the group on the dance floor.
The girl in pink is gyrating around the makeshift dance floor with some big, brawny guy. “You mean Hunter’s Trudy?” I gasp, my hand going to my mouth. We’ve been hearing via Logan and Jason about the woman Hunter has been infatuated with for months. “She works for Blake, doesn’t she?”
Allie nods.
“And didn’t something happen between them in December, so nobody could mention her name around him?”
She nods more vigorously this time.
“She looks like she’s having fun with her friends,” I say before scanning the room for Hunter. He’s standing rigid at the kitchen island, his mouth pulled so tightly it has to hurt, as he stares at the couple. “Hunter doesn’t appear to be enjoying the party as much. He looks like he wants to break something.”
“He’s in love with her. It was obvious when we were at the beach house for New Year’s Eve.”
“I’ve never seen him look so angry. He’s normally calm and in control.”
The guy dancing with Trudy is almost the same size as Hunter and equally broad-chested.
“Who’s the guy?” I ask, as I’m sure Allie knows everyone here.
“Ben, one of Blake’s former military friends,” she replies, then adds, “Damn, I might need to go warn Logan. Blake and Hunter have not been on the best of terms lately, and if Hunter causes trouble tonight, it will only get worse.” Allie places her empty glass on the table beside us.
I watch Ben lead Trudy over to Hunter. “Wait, look.”
Ben greets Hunter, then turns and walks away. A few minutes later, Bec and Katie join them. “I think it’s okay. They’re at least talking.”
“Another champagne, then?” Allie asks, and I nod my head wildly when I catch sight of Jason speaking to Logan, his arm wrapped around his date’s waist.
Allie takes my empty glass from my limp fingers and passes me a fresh one. “Maybe it’s time to move on,” she suggests in a low, tentative voice. She’s right, of course. I need to move on.
“I’ve started seeing a therapist,” I blurt out. Allie knows a little of my history. Not everything that happened but enough to understand that I’ve got a past that left me broken.
“That’s great,” she says, giving me a side hug. “And maybe soon you can start to date again.”
“Maybe …” I really hope she’s right and the therapist can help me move forward. It’s taken a long time for me to feel like I could even talk about the mess my life was in my early twenties. The devastating loss of my twin brother, Jack, shattered my youthful innocence and sent me spiraling into a very dark place. And, barely able to keep my head clear in that well of pain, I made some bad choices.
How do I carry on? I’d asked myself that question then and continued to do so until recent years. I still don’t really have an answer. Knowing the one person who was there beside me through every milestone will only be a ghostly presence for each one after. Or knowing that same person who I shared all my secrets with is now only a memory as I whisper them into the dark late at night. My life from that day forward was shattered into a million pieces, and it was never going to be able to be put back together again.
The pain of loss is not so raw twelve years later, but the gaping hole with jagged, sharp edges left behind endures. My friendship with Jason helped to bridge the deep ravine I used to teeter on the edge of. He taught me how to trust and, more importantly, laugh again. Jack would have liked him.
But Jason has set his sights elsewhere. I look his way again, and the woman is now stroking her hand across his chest. There’s no point wishing that was me, when I’m the main reason it isn’t even a possibility.
Vicki, my therapist, said it would take time, and I need to trust the process. I don’t want to be left to grow old alone. I’m thirty-two and ready to find that one special person who loves me as much as I love them.
Bec and Katie join us. “Good timing, girls. Grab a glass and let’s make a toast,” Allie suggests. Logan is right to have given her the nickname Sunshine. It’s so appropriate because she could bring a smile to the gloomiest of people. Just like she does for Logan on a daily basis. And he was one moody, grumpy guy before she moved into his apartment.
“To new beginnings,” Allie announces with a knowing look at each of us as our four crystal flutes come together.
Ting, ting, ting, ting.
Yes, new beginnings is a great toast. Bec’s engagement. Allie’s new business venture. Katie reaching a tentative truce with Drew, the troublesome author who turned out to be her steamy one-night stand. And me learning to move on, not only from Jason but toward happier times.
I look over to where Hunter and Trudy are by the island. They are standing really close and are both smiling. Maybe they are looking forward to a new beginning too.
A little later, I totter down the hallway in desperate need of the bathroom. Too many glasses of champagne, and my bladder is about ready to burst. But instead of reaching my goal, I plow straight into Jason’s solid chest.
“Whoa, D. What’s the rush?”
“I need the bathroom,” I blurt out, not bothering to hide my urgency.
