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Noticing the lawn, I realized it could use some attention. I fired up the lawn mower and set to work. As I rolled over the green blades, enjoying the engine humming as I walked back and forth, I remembered I would mow the lawn every weekend while Hailey worked in her garden. She took pride in her little space and loved looking at it from her office window when she was inside. Now, that room was Hudson’s, but I still caught her looking out of it whenever she had a chance. Only now, instead of holding a book, she held our son. Ecstatic bliss flowed through me as I mowed our lawn. Not only was a smile plastered on my face, but I caught myself whistling. If this was the track I was on, even the most menial tasks would bring me pleasure.
I worked up a good sweat by the time I finished. Mom, Dad, and Hudson arrived just as I emptied the mower’s bag into the green waste bin.
“You seem happy,” Mom said.
“Couldn’t be happier. It’s a glorious day.” I bent down and smiled at my son. “Hi, Hudson. Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?” I asked.
He waved both hands and said, “Hi. Bye-bye.”
I laughed with my parents as I plucked him up. “Hi. Hello.” Mom and Dad’s upturned smiles and expectant eyes greeted me when I looked at them. “What?” I asked, suddenly feeling like an animal at the zoo.
Mom shrugged, and Dad cleared his throat. “What’s got you in such a good mood?” Dad asked as he prompted me to head into the house.
“I remembered something. A memory I forgot about.”
“What?” Mom’s voice rose an octave. “What was it?”
“The swing,” I said, jerking my head to the porch where it hung. As I settled Hudson into his playpen, Dad put on some cartoons, and I told them what happened when I was sitting on the porch swing.
“Well, that’s great,” Mom said.
“It’s something, that’s for sure.”
“Anything else?” Dad asked.
“I remember mowing the lawn.” I chuckled at their confusion. “I don’t mean right now. I meant I remember that I would mow the lawn on the weekend while Hailey worked in her garden.” We stood for a moment, admiring the garden my wife adored. It was her private sanctuary of beauty and serenity.
Everything was thoughtfully arranged. Succulents sat in pots at either corner. Neatly trimmed birds of paradise etched against the wall. In the center, a large stone birdbath stood. Sun-kissed snapdragons, cosmos, lilies, irises, zinnias, and alyssum burst with vibrant pops of color all around it.
“She made it exactly like she always said she would.”
“Hmm,” Mom murmured. “She spent almost every day out here after Hudson was born.”
“She did?”
“Mm-hm. I think it was her way of working through her grief. It kept her busy. So did Hudson.” She laughed as she ruffled his hair.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. When I met Dad’s eyes, they were misty. He turned to head into the house. Mom followed behind me as I carried Hudson, holding him close to my chest—close to my heart. I took a quick shower to rinse off and met everyone in the kitchen. “You’re going to stay for dinner, right?” I asked, pulling some of the ingredients out of the refrigerator. “I’m making chicken parm.”
“Maybe we should let you and Hailey have some time together. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.”
My eyes ping-ponged between her and my dad. “Why?”
“Don’t you want to tell her about your memory coming back?”
“Well, yeah. But . . .” I sighed. “When it happened, I was so damn happy. And I can’t wait to tell her. But when I was showering, I just thought . . .” They studied me as I tried to gather my thoughts. “I guess I just expected more.”
“Patience, son,” my dad started, “is hard to hold onto in a situation like this. I’ve been reading up on this stuff, and I gotta say, it’s the one thing everyone says is the most difficult.”
I wrinkled my nose and shrugged. “I know you’re right, but I’m so damned frustrated.” A brief moment of silence stretched as my parents looked at one another.
“I know it’s been rough,” Dad began again, “but I think the important thing is to stay positive.” I should have kept my mouth shut because they both started talking to me about the doctors and everything we’d already discussed over and over again.
As they talked, I interjected every now and again. They were doing their best to be helpful and supportive. Everyone was. Exasperated as I was with this conversation, I stayed engaged so I wouldn’t hurt their feelings.
When Hailey arrived, I breathed a sigh of relief. She was the buffer I needed. One look at me, and she knew what I was feeling. Hailey was good about reading my mood without me having to spell it out for her. One quick kiss from her and I immediately relaxed. She gave me a wink and asked, “What can I do to help?”
“Thank you,” I whispered so my parents wouldn’t hear. “If you wouldn’t mind setting the table, everything should be ready soon.”
