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Why is he being so nice to me? It should feel good, but instead it just makes me uncomfortable and embarrassed. “Oh, it’s not like I have much of a life to uproot,” I laugh, waving a hand. “I’m thirty-one years old and I’m still just doing bullshit odd jobs here and there. I don’t even know why he wants me to do this, really. I sure don’t have any qualifications for whatever he expects. And I don’t know what I want, either, to be honest. I just never thought I’d be back here in Ironwood, you know?”
My eyes meet his. Something passes between us in an instant. The collective sum of all the memories between us, maybe. The knowledge both of us have of why I left here in the first place.
Because he hated me. And as a result, I couldn’t stand to be here anymore.
I look away. “I just never thought I’d deal with this with my dad, somehow. Mom had cancer a while ago, actually. She pulled through, though. She’s fine now.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I always liked your mom.”
I smile at him gratefully. “She always liked you, too.”
Brody doesn’t say anything more. I realize he’s waiting for me to go on.
“I don’t know,” I say. “Dad said he had stomach cancer once before this. He didn’t even tell me at the time.” I shake my head. “He said that this time he isn’t going to do chemo.”
“What does that mean?”
“I think it means he’s just…” — I draw in a shaky breath — “planning to die.”
Brody opens his mouth to say something, but Dogzilla interrupts him with a loud whine. I look down, realizing I had forgotten he was even there. He’s jumping up and down on his hind legs, head pivoting back and forth between us. Whatever it is, the moment between Brody and me is suddenly broken. He clears his throat, shoves his hands in his pockets.
“Looks like Dogzilla is anxious to get somewhere.” I say with a smile. “I should get back, anyway.”
“Sure thing. You need a ride?”
“No, that’s okay.” I wave him off. “It’s not that far, and I can use the exercise. Thank you, though.”
“No problem.” He pauses, reaches up and rubs his neck. “Hang in there, Rory.”
I gaze at him, across the years. Across all the pain between us, to the boy he used to be. To the girl I used to be. The girl who loved him so much, sometimes she thought her heart would burst from the enormity of it.
God. Right now, looking at him, I would give just about anything to go back, just for a few minutes. To have him feel the way about me that he used to, back when he thought I hung the moon, and that I could do no wrong. Back when he believed in me.
But those days are long gone. That boy and that girl don’t exist anymore.
“Thanks, Rogue,” I nod.
And before he can see the tears that have suddenly formed in my eyes, I turn and walk away. A few seconds later, I hear a car door slam, and the sound of an engine turning over. The truck drives past me, then accelerates, a cloud of dust kicked up by the wheels.
A hand reaches out the window and waves.
Slowly, I raise my hand and wave back as Brody drives off into the distance.
13
ROGUE
“You know, you’re really pushing it, dude,” I say to the dog as we drive away. “That chick was the last person in the world I wanted to see.”
The only response I get from him is a shit-eating grin.
“‘Fuck’s sake. You really are a Dogzilla,” I grunt.
It was probably crazy to hope I was never gonna run into Rory again in Ironwood while she was here. Though if it hadn’t been for the dog, maybe I wouldn’t have. Maybe there’s a silver lining to it, though, because now I know where she’s gonna be staying and where she’ll be working. Which means I can avoid her easier.
For the second time, I tell myself I should take advantage of the fact she’s in town, and get my ass in gear on hiring a divorce lawyer. About time we took care of that, after all these years.
Then again, maybe that’s kind of a shitty thing to do right now, given what she’s going through.
