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“I have no idea. Have you been trying to get hold of him?”
“Yes, I have been trying to get hold of him!” She angrily mimics my tone of voice. “That asshole told me he wanted to take Kelly for the day, so I scheduled a shift at work for when he’d have her. He was supposed to pick her up half an hour ago, but of fucking course he didn’t show. He’s leaving me on read and when I call him I just get his voicemail. I’m gonna have to call into work and tell them I can’t come in. My boss is gonna be pissed as hell. Plus I needed those hours, and I’m not even gonna get paid for them now.”
“I’m sorry, Carla. I honestly have no idea where he is.”
“He’s supposed to be paying me child support, too,” she continues as though she hasn’t heard me. “But the last time I saw a damn cent from him was last December. Worthless piece of shit. He doesn’t care about anything but himself and that damn MC.”
I wish I could defend my brother, but I know she’s right. “Carla, I can come over right now if you want. I could take care of Kelly while you go to work.”
But she just scoffs. “You want to help me? Tell your fucking brother toanswer my calls and pay me what he fucking owes me!” she screams into the phone, then hangs up.
Ugh. I guess I shouldn’t have expected Carla to take me up on my offer. Right now she hates my brother, and I think that means she hates me by association. I can’t say that I blame her. Quad is the absolute definition of a deadbeat dad. But I feel like I have to do something to at least try to help, so I dial his number — and miraculously, he picks up.
“What?” he barks
“Quad, I just got a call from Carla. She said you’re supposed to be picking up Kelly to take her for the day but you didn’t show up.”
Quad’s tone turns instantly pissed. “What the hell business is it of yours, Kat? Jesus!”
“Uh, well, Carla kind of made it my business by calling me, so…”
“Fuck you, Kat! Of course you’d take her side over your own family.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, Quad.” My blood pressure starts to rise. “Besides which, seeing as how Kelly is your own flesh and blood, she’s your family, too. Speaking of which, Carla said you’re way behind on your child support payments.”
“Why the fuck should I give her money for my kid when she won’t even let me see her?” Quad shoots back.
“Are you kidding me?” I feel like my brain is going to explode. “How is she not letting you see her when you were supposed to go over there this morning and you didn’t even show up?”
Quad lets out an angry curse. “You know what, I don’t have time for this shit. Fuck you, Kat.”
And for the second time in ten minutes, someone hangs up on me.
Well, I guess it’s not like I should have expected much more than that from my brother. Denial and circular arguments are pretty much his M.O. They always have been.
I drive home in a gloomy mood. While I put my groceries away, my mind keeps returning to my conversation with Carla. I remember Quad first got together with her, I thought she might be a woman he could end up getting serious about. But then she ended up getting pregnant, and as soon as she told him, he already had one foot out the door. He kept telling her he couldn’t be sure he was the father, and accusing her of sleeping around on him. He kept insisting he needed a paternity test to make sure the baby was his, and used that as an excuse to refuse to help Carla out while she was pregnant. Then Kelly was born, and she came out looking like such a carbon copy of Quad as a baby that even he had to admit the paternity test wasn’t necessary.
Quad has just never managed to assume the mantle of fatherhood. My brother’s whole identity is wrapped up in being in the Eagle’s Talon, and I guess there’s just not enough room inside him for anything else. I’ve wondered more than once whether he would have been a better father to Kelly — and maybe even a partner to Carla? — If he hadn’t been a Talon first and foremost?
When you’re in an MC, loyalty to the club isn’t just expected, it’s demanded. I’ve been around them enough to know. But does it really have to mean that nothing and no one else matters?
And just like that, I’m no longer thinking about my stupid brother. I’m thinking about Connor. And about how he walked away from me because the president of the Chrome Skulls told him to.
I can’t expect anything more from Connor than Carla can from Quad. They’re both bikers. They’re cut from the same cloth.
They’re not, though. Connor is a hundred times the man that Quad is.
Is he, though? Or do I just want to believe he is?
Dammit.I shouldn’t even be thinking this way. Connor and I have only hooked up a couple of times. Our past is irrelevant at this point. There’s been nothing said about anything more serious, and I need to just take things for what they are, like I told Christy I was doing. We’re just two consenting adults enjoying each other’s bodies. Nothing more.
But after Carla’s telephone call and my conversation with Quad, I can’t help thinking I’ve made a mistake letting Connor back in. Maybe I’ve even made a mistake coming back to Minneapolis for work. Because unfortunately, where Connor Mattson concerned, my heart has never been strong.
Or smart.
11
FURY
