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He and Chains are the only two who know who she is and what she’s probably doing here. They told me long ago to cut off contact with her, but I didn’t until recently. I also don’t intend to give in to her now either.
“Nope,” I answer, ignoring the confused look on my woman’s face. I’ll have to finish talking to her about my past, but first, I’ve got to deal with the bitch who gave birth to me.
“Right, then Lynch, Shock, and Steel will stay out here and make sure no bullshit happens,” he states and wraps an arm around Lily’s shoulders. “Come on, Lily, let’s get you inside.”
“Okay,” she whispers, head twisting as they go. She doesn’t stop staring at me over her shoulder until they pass the threshold, and she has no other choice but to look forward once again.
Releasing a frustrated breath, I rub a hand over my face. I don’t want to have to deal with this woman, but it’s not my club’s problem. Dealing with her is my headache to handle.
“We’ve got your back, brother,” Lynch states, clasping a hand on my shoulder. “You don’t gotta deal with this bitch on your own.”
“I know.” I nod, answering him gruffly. He might not know the story, but he knows enough. He knows she wants money.
I make my way toward the gate with my brothers at my back.
“Open the fucking gate,” my mother screeches through the open driver’s side window, a cigarette bobbing in her mouth.
“Not opening the gate,” I call out, coming to a stop on my side of the gate, legs wide, arms crossed. “How about you just turn around and go back to your fucked up life.”
“Don’t you talk to me like that, Tyrese. I’m your momma, and I won’t allow you to send me away.” Of course, she says some shit like that like she was ever my mother.
Curling my lip in disgust, I take a step closer to the gate, eyes narrowed. “You might’ve pushed me out, bitch, but you ain’t my momma. You’re nothing more than a waste of fuckin’ space who shouldn’t have been allowed to have kids in the first place.” I don’t care if she got knocked up with me at fifteen. I sure as fuck don’t give a damn that she looks strung out. She no longer factors in my life. Her guilt trips and all that shit, it doesn’t mean shit to me any longer. Not when I have Lily now.
My mom gets out of the truck, staggers, gets a grip on her limbs, and rushes the gate like she could plow through it. Her fingers grip the rungs of the fence, and she shakes the damn thing. “I’m your fuckin’ mother, boy, and you won’t talk to me like that. I’ll beat some sense into you.”
“Bitch, you ain’t gonna do shit but turn your ass around and leave. I’m done with you, already told you that.” The words vibrate in my chest. Anger swirls around me, and I need to get away from the crazy bitch. Just the sight of her brings back memories I don’t want to think about.
“You need to give me money,” she demands.
“I don’t have to do shit,” I spit. “Now, get your ass back in your truck. Turn around and get the fuck away from me. Come here again, and I’ll kill you. I don’t want shit to do with you, bitch.”
Turning away from her, I don’t look at the men who stood silently behind me as I pass them.
“Tyrese,” she screams, but I ignore her.
I haven’t been Tyrese in a long time. The only thing I have to do with that name now is when it comes to important documents. To everyone else, I’m Speed. That’s who I am now, and that isn’t gonna change.
“You can’t do this to me, Tyrese. I’m your momma. I gave you life. You owe me,” she continues ranting.
“You heard him, you stupid cunt.” I hear Shock sneer. “He said leave. He ain’t the only one who’ll kill you if you don’t get the fuck out of here.”
“I’d listen to my brother here,” Lynch remarks tersely. “And you come here again, we’ll ensure you disappear for good.”
“You can’t do shit to me. He’s my son, and I demand he listen to me. Do you hear me, you bastard? I’m your momma, you’re supposed to obey me.”
Stopping, I twist around and level a glare on her. “You ain’t shit to me, woman. Now, do as you’re fuckin’ told before you get a bullet between your eyes.” My gut churns, and my anger grows. Stalking away, I don’t bother going into the clubhouse. I can’t face Lily right now. Not when I’m this angry. If I do, I’ll only hurt her, and I can’t do that to her. She doesn’t deserve it.
Not when memories of the past are rolling around in my head.
Memories of the woman who I had for a mom were always about me obeying her. She’d be strung out and let the men who rotated in and out of the house beat me. When I got around the age of ten, she drugged me and forced herself on me while she was also high. She demanded that I eat her and make her feel good. She’d make sure I did whatever she wanted. I was only alive to appease her. That’s what she informed me of plenty of times when I was growing up.
Even when I got older and knew better, she still did this to me. No matter if I fought her.
I learned to stay the fuck away from the house as much as possible. I didn’t want to deal with her shit. Social Services didn’t do shit, ‘cause the stupid bitch knew how to get around the system. I don’t even know how she’d manage it, but I’m sure it had to do with spreading her legs for the right people.
Heading toward the gym, I yank my cut and shirt off as I step inside. I set my cut on one of the benches and make my way toward one of the punching bags. The only way I will be able to beat back the memories is to exert myself to exhaustion. I normally would do it fucking some random woman, but I’m not going to do that to Lily.
My woman deserves sweet, and I can’t give her that right now.
