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Strays are out in force. Two of them are on either side of Shock. One is straddling Steel. Another one on her knees in front of Lynch, her head bobbing on his dick. Nothing new, that’s for sure. A few other bitches are on the prowl looking for a man to fuck them. Thank fuck, none of them approach me. I’ve made it known more than once I don’t want any of their stretched-out snatches.
I don’t give a shit they want to fuck my brothers, but I don’t want to fuck them. Granted, sometimes I don’t mind watching them go at it with one or more of my brothers. I’d have to be in the mood for it. With Lily in my room, I’m definitely not.
“You say that, but are you really?” Lawson mutters. “You came in with that pretty little thing, and now, you’re out here.”
“Lily’s still healing.” It’s an automatic response. Something I keep telling myself. “She’s been through a lot of shit and doesn’t want to do anything else right now but rest and get better.”
“Hasn’t she been healing the past three weeks? And before that?” Brake quirks a brow and stares at me before shaking his head. “That woman needs to start moving around, getting her strength back. If you want to be able to be with her, the way I know you are with women, she’s going to need it.”
“What do you expect me to tell her? To make her do? She’s been a captive for years. Shit, I don’t even know if she can read or write.” Fisting the beer in my hand, I think about all the things that are potentially going to be a struggle for her now that she’s free from that motherfucker Perrin. I can’t help but wonder if the only thing she knows how to do is spread her legs.
It’s something I’m going to have to ask her.
“Why don’t you talk to her?” Lawson advises. “See what she does and doesn’t know.”
I nod, knowing he’s right. Someone’s going to need to talk to her and find out what’s what. It might as well be me. If she’s going to feel vulnerable in any way, which I’m sure with this conversation, she will be, I want it to be me she’s talking to. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Good,” Brake grumbles. “Now, I’m gonna go find Faye and have a talk with her of my own.” He smirks, looks to Lawson, who gets a shit-eating grin, and they both head for the exit. I don’t even want to think about what the three of them are going to do.
Finishing the beer in hand, I pull my phone out to find a text notification. I open my messages and see that it’s not just one text but several. All from the same person.
My mother.
Without looking at the texts, I close out of it. I don’t need to know what they say. It’s the same damn thing each and every time. She needs money. The woman refuses to hold a job down longer than a month or two. She expects me to give her what she claims is hers. That because she’d given birth to me it was my turn to take care of her. The fucking bitch never once took care of me. Hit me, beat me, starve me, along with loads of other things I try not to think of. She’s not a mom, that’s for sure. Instead, she’s a monster. One that I wish would fucking die, but every time I think about doing the deed, I can’t bring myself to pull the trigger.
Maybe because I’m not the same as her. I won’t stoop to her level.
Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I slam the empty bottle on the bar top and head back to my room. I’ll check on Lily, order us food, and figure out what to do next. Maybe instead of just checking on her, I’ll hang with her and have that talk. See what’s the next step in my plan I need to make.
CHAPTERSIX
LILY
The door opens, and I lift my head off the pillow in time to see Speed stepping back into the room. He’s back a lot sooner than what I expected him to be. My heart stutters in my chest. Not a shudder, but an actual stutter, if that makes sense.
I hold his gaze as he closes the door behind him and moves toward the bed. He stops long enough to take his cut off and sets it on his dresser. Coming to the bed, he sits on the edge and removes his boots before readjusting to lean against the headboard. Legs stretched out in front of him, and the length of him right next to me.
“What are you doing?” I whisper, unsure if he actually heard me.
“Settling in for the rest of the day,” he answers, reaching over me to grab the remote. It’s far too close to me the way he does it, but he doesn’t scare me. Nothing about him scares me in the way it should. It’s more like my reaction to him and the way he makes me feel.
“I thought you would be doing other things.” Rolling to my back, I readjust myself on the bed, so I’m not laying on my side, my backside pressing against him. I sit up and put a small amount of space between us. Well, I placed a pillow between us like it were a shield.
“Babycakes,” he grins and shakes his head, “a pillow ain’t gonna help put distance between us.”
“You confuse me,” I blurt.
“Yeah, babe, I’m sure I do, and I’ll probably keep confusing the shit out of you for a while.”
“What does that mean?” I furrow a brow in total confusion.
Speed moves, gently grips my waist, and drags me up over until I’m straddling his waist.
“Speed?” I utter only to have him squeeze my hips gently.
“Not gonna do anything you ain’t ready for. Know you ain’t in the right headspace. But when we’re talking, we’re doing it like this. You and me, you straddling me. Me holding you close. It’s a connection. One we’re gonna grow on. And to do that when we talk, it’s like this. Got me?”
“I still don’t understand,” I murmur, dropping my gaze to stare at his throat.
