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“God, I’m going to miss each one of you.”
“We’re going to miss you, too, but we promise to come visit.”
“Then men are forbidden.”
“Girl, fuck Makai. Lawe can go where he damn well pleases.”
“But he won’t, and we all know that,” Nature told Kleu.
We all agreed.
“Well, I’ll come alone or with one of y’all. But now that we’ve got you talking again… I need you to tell me something. What tricks you be doing with your pussy that got a nigga trying to run you off the road and another one following his ass in jail to end his life?”
Shaking my head, I began to explain. “That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
“Nelson is holding on to a secret that I discovered the night I left him. He’s afraid that I’ve told Makai and that his business will be circulating among the men he’s in business with.”
“What kind of secret? Isn’t that nigga over thirty? What secrets could he have?” She continued to probe.
I grabbed my phone from beside me and unlocked the screen. I searched my Instagram account for the name of the person who had initially messaged me and then followed up in my email where the actual information had been sent and stored. The six-minute voice note began as soon as I tapped the triangle on the left of my screen.
“Good evening, Glacier. I’m quite sure you don’t know who I am but I recently discovered your existence through Nelson. He’s a dear friend of mine. My intentions aren’t to stir up any commotion. I come in peace, advocating for the health of people who are oblivious to what’s going on around them.
“I met Nelson five and a half years ago when I first started going to Dr. Lacey. We’d both recently discovered our status and were starting the new prescription drug that treats HIV and eventually eliminates the possibility of transmission to others. The goal for people like us is always to be undetected since a cure isn’t available to us. Nelson was unsure how he’d been infected and so was I.
“We bonded over the things we had in common and eventually exchanged numbers. There was no foul play. I was aware that he was a heterosexual man as well as he was aware that I wasn’t. On those awful nights when his thoughts started to get the best of him, he started reaching out and vice versa.
“Eventually, our friendship evolved and Nelson became curious. I let him explore his sexuality, passing no judgment. He and I went on for a few months, exploring that portion of his life before he decided to get back to the basis of our friendship and eliminate the rest. However, every so often, he found his way back to my home, indulging in a guilty pleasure that he hated to love. But again, no judgment.
“Eventually, it stopped, again, but our friendship continued to blossom. Still, he confides in me about things that he won’t dare mention to another soul. One of these things in particular is the fact that he’s in love with two women, one of which is pregnant, and the other woman is her best friend, who might also be expecting his child.”
I hadn’t noticed the last line until now. He’d warned me that Valencia was expecting. Still, I had no clue because I’d skated by that part.
“This brought me to the question of whether the women involved knew his status. Nelson blew up when the question was posed, confirming what I already knew. You are oblivious and so is the woman that is supposed to be your best friend. This message is nothing more than a message of caution. I want you and your child healthy.
“I’ve lived with this disease long enough to know that it’s not pleasant. It’s not the end of the world, by far, and I live a good life. But if I can prevent a child, without a choice, from being brought into this world with a positive status, that’s exactly what I will do. I’ll end this message by saying that I’m sorry for any hurt it may have caused. But I’d rather it be now than later that I tracked you down and told you what you deserved to know the day that Nelson decided he wanted to put his penis inside of you. I’m no fool and I’m sure that my life is in jeopardy by sharing this, but to save a life, I’m willing to risk mine.
“I wish you nothing but the best and I pray that your pregnancy is as beautiful as you are, my love. Don’t walk, run to the nearest clinic and get tested. Knowing your status is important. Nelson has been undetectable for almost five years, but confirmation is key.”
I could hear a needle drop in the room if I had one. Blank stares coated everyone’s faces around me.
“It wasn’t my secret to tell,” I sighed. “This is where his anger stems from. The following week, this man was found dead in his home. I picked myself up off the floor, mourning the loss of my best friend and man, to pay my respects.
“I’d taken tests and had blood work done throughout nursing school and nothing had ever come back positive, so I wasn’t too worried. My annuals were appointments I didn’t skip. I made sure to get the full panel yearly.
“Nothing had ever come back abnormal. That didn’t stop me from running to the doctor’s office to be tested again. As I’d suspected, I was not infected over the course of our four-year relationship.”
“You can’t tell me there isn’t a God,” Aeir mumbled.
“Amen,” Kleu finished, waving a hand in the air.
“This doesn’t leave this room, ladies. It’s not your secret to tell, either. Nelson is fighting his own demons, believing his status is the end of the world and his preference in sexual partners is a crime. I left Nelson because he lied and because he cheated. I wouldn’t have cared who it was with. Cheating, for me, is a deal breaker. The details don’t matter.”
“The details don’t matter,” Kleu agreed.
“Now, can someone please get me a drink? If I’m going to pack this entire condo, I’m not going to do it sober.”
