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Chapter 1
Antonia
Thecrashingoftheturquoise waves was hypnotic and offered the perfect setting to soothe my tumultuous feelings. I sighed with regret and took a sip of my wine. My thoughts ran over my behavior leading up to Alex leaving for a business trip.
He’d been gone for almost two weeks, and I missed him. This time of year was never good for me and I’d tried to tell him that. But I was in reaction mode at being left at home, and as a result, our last moments together were less than positive.
I’d performed a theatrical display, meant to manipulate him into giving me his undivided attention while he tried to get ready to leave for his trip. My display only earned me a headshake and then a timeout when I responded with a massive temper tantrum.
Since he’d been gone, I’d had time to think about my actions and realize that wasn’t my finest hour. While usually very outspoken, I’d been withheld during our nightly check in calls. Mostly this was because I didn’t feel like lying when he asked how I was doing, and I didn’t feel like having an outburst where I yelled “shitty!” into the phone.
And maybe it was me, but his check ins felt more like an obligation than truly wanting to know how I was. I was sure his palm grew itchy every time I unenthusiastically answered with a one-word response to his questions, but I was bound and determined to continue with my petulant performance whenever he called, at least until he realized the error of his ways.
I grinned at that thought because I knew that none of this was his fault, not really. It was more mine but I couldn’t seem to formulate my issues into words and he wasn’t asking the right questions. In that I blamed him, he was the all-knowing Daddy after all; shouldn’t he know when I’m upset and try and make it better? I swallowed my disgruntlement with my next sip of wine.
The truth is, when he told me of the emergency meeting in Tokyo regarding the merger, takeover thingy, and that he was taking Johnathan with him and leaving me home, I’d been a bitch. Simone, Johnathan’s woman and my best friend, didn’t have a problem with it in the slightest, but they also had a very different dynamic as he was a Dom and she his long-time submissive.
Being my best friend, you would think I would have been happy about being left in Tahiti with my bestie for some quality girl time. But Simone was in retail and was extremely busy at her boutique with the influx of holiday travelers arriving daily to enjoy the sun and beaches.
It seemed everyone wanted to be somewhere warm for the holidays, but not me. I really had my sights set on a wintery scene, preferably away from civilization and cell service. A tiny cabin for two on a remote, snowy mountainside where Alex and I could worship each other’s bodies uninterrupted would work very nicely.
But with Christmas being less than a week away, there was little chance that would happen. And here was the crux of my problem as his last-minute flight took priority over any holiday plans. I’d say we had plans before his departure, but we didn’t, because every time I tried, he’d give me the same answer—“After I get back, we’ll discuss it”.
But by the time he’d arrive home, the time crunch would limit our choices. My hand curled tightly around the stemware I held, and it took all my willpower not to throw it.
The song, “Red Red Wine”, my ringtone for Amara, erupted from my phone.
“Hi, Amara. How are things in Cali?”
“Unseasonably warm, but beautiful and no fires this year, so that’s a blessing.”
Like I wanted to talk about the weather!
“Seriously? I meant you and King. How are things?”
“He has me in a timeout right now,” she whispered. “Apparently, I’ve been working too hard and he’s given me mandatory downtime.”
“Is he home?”
“No.”
“Then why are you whispering?”
I held the phone away from my ear as her squealing laughter came through the receiver.
“That’s what I love about you, Toni.”
I wasn’t sure what she meant by that. What did she love? My obtuse attitude or calling it as I saw it? Or something else entirely?
“What are you doing in yourtimeout?”
“I’m hiding random things he won’t notice are missing until he needs them.” She was whispering again.
“Like what?” I was genuinely curious and, if hiding things would get me the attention I’d been craving, then maybe I would try it out myself.
“We rarely have screen time in the bedroom, but I hid the remote, anyway. At some point, he will go looking for it.” Her squeals of mirth were contagious, and I giggled along with her.
“What else are you hiding?”
