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“I know,” I say as tears roll down my cheeks and I don’t bother to stop them. “You’re breaking my heart, Shane, but I understand, and I’m so sorry that I destroyed your trust in me. I’m sorry I destroyed us.”
“Hey,” he brushes the tears from my cheeks. “It’s not all on you, sweetheart. I promised we’d be just sex. I should have made sure it stayed that way.”
“No, you shouldn’t.” I shake my head. “I’m glad we were so much more than that.”
“But why? When it hurts so fucking much?”
“I know that it hurts now. But I would feel this every day for the rest of my life for one more moment like that with you. It was worth it, wasn’t it?” I turn to look at him and can see the pain in his eyes even in the faint light of the room.
He brushes the hair back from my face. “Yeah,” he smiles at me before leaning forward and pressing a soft, chaste kiss on my forehead. “Night, Hacker,” he whispers before climbing off the bed and walking out of the room.
Chapter
Forty-Three
SHANE
As I walk down the hallway to the kitchen the following morning, the sound of her laughter drifts out into the hallway. I contemplate turning around and going back to bed, because as happy as I am for my brothers to have her back, it hurts too damn much to see her.
“Morning, bro,” Conor walks up behind me and throws an arm around my neck. “You joining us for breakfast? Mikey’s made pancakes.”
I groan inwardly. But, fuck! This is my house and if Jessie is sticking around then I’d better get used to it, and quickly. Besides, I could use her help finding Alexei. “Yeah,” I say, and we walk to the kitchen together.
“Did you and Jessie get a chance to talk?” he asks.
“Yeah. We spoke last night.”
“Oh?” he frowns at me.
“What?”
“She was alone this morning when I got home is all.”
“I said we talked Conor. We didn’t fuck.”
His frown deepens and I roll my eyes. “We straightened things out. We’re good. But we’ll never be what we were,” I tell him and admitting that out loud to him is like a knife slicing through my heart.
He shakes his head almost imperceptibly and continues walking.
I stop in my tracks. “What?” I snap.
“I didn’t say anything,” he holds his hands up in mock surrender.
“You don’t have to speak for me to know exactly what you’re thinking.”
“Well, if you already know what I’m thinking, you already know that I think you’re being a stubborn ass about this.”
“You think I’m being too hard on her?” I scowl at him.
“No, Shane. I think you’re being too hard on yourself,” he says before he heads into the kitchen.
I walk into the room a few seconds after Conor, right on time to see him pulling her up from Liam’s lap before lifting her onto the breakfast island and tongue fucking her mouth while she wraps her legs around him. Fuck. Me.
“Morning, bro,” Liam shouts with a smile on his face that I haven’t seen in weeks. Mikey tosses blueberries into his mouth while he waits for the pancakes to cook on the stove. I feel like I’ve walked into a fucked up porno version of Little House on the Prairie.
“Morning,” I reply, and the sound of my voice makes her pull back from Conor. Her cheeks flush pink and she whispers something to him that makes him set her down on her feet.
“Morning, Shane,” she says quietly as she walks back to the table and sits down again, on a chair this time.
