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“It might be a different kind of fear, but we felt the Wolf’s shadow over your life as much as you did. Did you not think that we were terrified he would come for you just as much as you were?”
I open my mouth to speak but he narrows his eyes at me. “Physical pain we can endure, Jessie. All of us have had more than our fair share of it. But losing you is our single greatest fear. You don’t get to be so reckless with your own life when you mean so much to other people, don’t you get that?”
“I do,” I nod at him. “But you wouldn’t listen to me. Whenever I suggested anything that involved me, you and Shane shut me down. I felt like I had no other choice.”
“We should have listened to you, Angel,” he admits.
“I’m sorry I snuck out,” I say, despite me being adamant that I wouldn’t apologize for that just fifteen minutes earlier.
He smiles at me. “I know.”
Chapter 38
Conor
“Will you lie here with me?” Jessie asks as I sit and stare at her. She is so fucking beautiful and I can’t believe that we almost lost her. How can I resist her? Besides, none of us got much sleep last night with her escapades. I crawl onto the bed and wrap my arms around her and she buries her head against my chest. “Is Shane going to punish me for sneaking out?” she breathes.
“No,” I brush her hair back from her face. “Shane is dealing with his own demons right now. He’s angrier at himself than he is at you.”
“You’re not angry with him, are you?” she asks as she looks up and stares into my eyes.
“No. I understand why he didn’t tell anyone, but I can see why Liam and Mikey are so pissed at him.”
“I’m glad he still has you in his corner,” she sighs as she snuggles against me again.
“If you ever put yourself in danger like that again, you won’t have to worry about Shane punishing you, because I’ll do it myself,” I warn her and she shivers in my arms and it’s not from fear. Fuck me, this woman terrifies me. Ever since that night in New York when I spanked her ass with Shane’s belt I have been thinking about exploring that side of myself with her. It’s not something I’ve wanted to do before because we have something much deeper than that. What’s been stopping me most is the fact that she is capable of handling so much pain that I’m truly worried that I’d go too far and hurt her. I’m not sure I can wait much longer, though, because she has a dark side too and I know that going there with her would be fucking incredible.
The two of us must have fallen asleep because it’s getting dark when we wake. Jessie rubs her eyes and looks at me. “You think the twins are back yet?”
“I doubt it.”
“You think Shane’s okay?” She bites her bottom lip and I have to stop myself from biting it too.
“Why don’t you go and check on him and I’ll wait up for the twins?” I plant a kiss on her forehead and then climb out of bed.
“You sure you don’t want me to wait up with you?”
“No. Go get some sleep, and try and make sure Shane gets some too, okay?”
“I will.” She gives me one of her beautiful smiles and I wonder how this woman just went through what she did and still radiates so much goodness.
Chapter 39
Shane
Ilie in bed staring at the ceiling and listening to my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I feel like every single person in this house is pissed at me. I took all of my anger out on Jessie and as much as I’m entitled to feel angry after what she did, I could’ve handled it a little better.
I’m worried about Liam and Mikey. I should have told them as soon as I found out but I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t know how to. I didn’t even know if it was the truth until Paul confirmed it himself. How the fuck was I supposed to blow their world apart on the ramblings of a dying man?
The door to my room creaks open, allowing a sliver of light from the hallway to illuminate the darkness. I see her silhouette slipping into the darkness and suck in a deep breath. If she’s here to tell me what an asshole I am, I think my heart might just give out. I can’t take any more anger directed at me right now. For over thirty years I have taken so much of it. My father’s rage. Our mother’s secrets. The guilt of not being able to protect them all. And I would do it all again for each and every one of them. Tomorrow I will stand in front of them and beg my brothers’ forgiveness if I have to, but right now I am tired of it all.
“Are you awake?” she whispers as she tiptoes toward the bed.
“As if I could sleep,” I reply with a sigh that vibrates through my bones.
When she reaches the bed, she lifts the duvet and slips beneath it, pressing her warm body against me. Her soft skin feels so good against mine and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close and burying my face in her hair.
She responds in kind, wrapping her legs and arms around me like a koala and squeezing me tight. “I love you,” she whispers and that is my complete fucking undoing.
