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I rake my nails down his muscular back as I take everything he has to give me.
“You want it harder?” he groans.
“Yes,” I groan, and he rails into me with all his strength. The tree bark at my back bites against my skin through the thin fabric of my dress, but the pain only makes the pleasure of him driving into me over and over again all that sweeter. Soon my legs are trembling with my impending release and because he knows my body so well, he increases his pace until my walls are clenching around him and I am shuddering against him.
“Shane,” I groan as the waves of pleasure crash over me.
“I fucking love the way you squeeze my cock when you come, Hacker,” he growls in my ear and a few thrusts later, he climaxes with a roar.
Shane is quiet on the drive back to the city and I wonder if telling him that I love him has completely spooked him. Especially after he’d just spoken about never wanting to fall in love again. When we get back home, he walks me to my room. “Goodnight, Hacker,” he says softly.
“Goodnight,” I whisper. I stare at him, wondering whether to ask him to stay the night with me. I want to wake up with his warm, hard body pressed against mine. But I swallow the words. I know he asked me for honesty, but I have laid myself bare to him and if that isn’t enough for him, then I don’t know what else to do. I suppose I have to accept that this is his way, and this is the pattern we will always follow. He might never tell me that he loves me, but I feel it sometimes anyway, and maybe that is enough?
I lie in bed staring into the darkness and listening to nothing but the sound of my heartbeat in my ears. My back stings slightly from the tree bark digging into it earlier, but it makes me smile – a reminder of the place Shane shared with me. The soft click of my door opening and footsteps padding across the floor makes me hold my breath. I know it isn’t the twins because they couldn’t be that quiet if they tried, and there is definitely only one set of footsteps. The scent of fresh air and his distinctive cologne fills the room as he approaches.
“Shane?” I whisper, sure that it can’t be him and my senses are deceiving me, because he has never slept in my room before.
He doesn’t answer me as he reaches the bed and lifts the covers. The mattress dips beside me as he slips beneath the duvet and presses his body against mine. When his rough hand skims over my hip, I know for sure that it’s him and I smile to myself.
“Hey,” I say as he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close to his chest.
“Hey, Hacker,” he breathes.
“What are you doing in here?”
He swallows. “I shouldn’t have let you come to bed alone.”
“So, why did you?” I ask as I shift my body so I’m facing him. His hand slips onto my ass and I run my fingertips across his cheek.
“Because you make me feel things I don’t like feeling, Jessie. You have my heart in a vice.”
The tears spring to my eyes. I love this man so much. He and his brothers are everything I have ever wanted in life. Each of them makes me feel whole and cherished and protected, in their own unique ways. Living without them now would be like living without air. But I know that he's struggling with his emotions and I want to be what he needs too. “Well, that’s better than your balls,” I giggle, and he slaps me lightly on the ass before pulling me tighter to him again.
“Ow,” I giggle. “My ass is still tender, you know?”
“Go to sleep,” he whispers in my ear. “Or I’ll put you over my knee this time.”
I press my face against his chest and inhale his intoxicating scent. “I love you, Shane. I am never going to leave. I promise.”
He presses his lips against my forehead. “I know, Hacker,” he breathes. “Now go to sleep.”
Chapter
Forty-Six
SHANE
My phone vibrates on my desk, and I look down at the screen as Erin’s name appears on it.
“Hi,” I answer. “Did you find out anything on the Ivanovs for me?”
“Oh, hi. And I’m fine, thank you,” she snaps.
I suck in a breath. She's so fucking difficult, but I have to remind myself that she's a talented lawyer, and she knows far too many of my family’s secrets. “Sorry. But did you?”
“No, nothing. Sorry.”
“Nothing at all?”
