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His tone is different than usual, more commanding. I walk over to him. He reaches up and pulls me firmly into his lap. I splay my legs to one side and wrap my arms around him, wishing I could hold him here forever. We haven’t even been on a proper date unless I count the gym, but the idea of losing him feels like losing somebody I’ve known and loved my whole life.
“I think we should make the next few hours as special as we can,” he says softly, kissing my cheek. “Whatever’s going to happen later, I’ll need energy. Why don’t I cook us up some steaks?”
I can hear the hope in his voice. For a little while, he wants to forget. I know that when the time comes, he’ll be completely focused, ready to do whatever it takes to rescue his child. If Ryan were our son, which is a weird thought, I’d want him to do the same.
“Okay, Duke,” I say.
He kisses my cheek again, getting closer to my lips. I’m trying to keep my face turned away. Then I won’t have to think about what I’m losing, but it’s too hard to resist him.
We kiss deeply, passionately, and differently than we have yet. There’s an undertone of lust. I think there always will be with us, but there’s something else here, too. It’s more like comfort, more like belonging. We slow the kiss down, and instead of grabbing my hips with his usual urgency, he holds me softly.
“So… I’ve got an important question for you.” He tries to smile, but I can see the tension. He’s trying, so I try, too.
“Hmm, yeah?”
“How do you like your steak?”
* * *
We sit in the dining room together. Duke is wearing a shirt with a couple of buttons undone as if to make this feel more date-like. The only sign that something is wrong is the cell phone sitting on the table, and he glances at the window every so often as if expecting Ethan to arrive any second.
“Bloody enough for you?” Duke says, attempting to smile.
I return the attempt. If I can put everything else in a box deep in my mind, maybe I can enjoy this for what it is—the date I desperately wanted the first time I saw a photo of this man.
“I’m notthatmuch of an animal,” I say, grinning as I cut into the steak. “Yours is basically uncooked.”
He smirks. Sure, there’s still some darkness in his eyes. There’s some darkness in my voice, too, but the fact we’re both trying means something. We’re looking for light in the dark. “That’s because Iamthat much of an animal,” he counters, then laughs and suddenly stops his laughter.
I don’t have to ask if he’s thinking about Ryan, probably imagining all the twisted scenarios his son is currently suffering through. Then he begins to cut into his steak, the dark mood leaving him for now.
“What are you going to do after school?” I ask.
“Well, there’s the Korea trip.”
He registers confusion, then nods. “Oh yeah, I remember. You mentioned it before. How long are you going to be there?”
“A month,” I tell him, stunned at the fierceness of my desire to stay here and be with him, but can I put all my dreams on hold? Well, if he’s the man of mydreams, maybe so. “After that, I’m going to become a teacher.”
I remember Ryan’s face twisted up viciously whenever I’d say that. Mocking me for wanting to teach because, apparently, it means I can’t do anything else.
“You’ll be an incredible teacher,” Duke says after a mouthful of steak.
“How do you know that?” I counter, grinning again. It feels more natural, less forced this time. “Maybe I’ll be a complete mess. That’s why I’m going to Korea. I’m going to teach English as a foreign language for the experience. I… I have my dad to thank for that.”
I stare down at my plate.
“I know you’re going to be incredible,” he says, “because I can see how passionate you are. You’re patient, charismatic, funny, and interesting. You could do anything you wanted, Molly.”
“Even play in the NBA, huh?”
He chuckles. It sounds more natural and less forced, just like mine. “Within reason, then.”
I look up and see him staring at me intensely. My thoughts return to the gym, the padded floor. My sex still aches from what we did, his tongue licking up and down, and then the nerves that slammed into me when I chose to go all the way with him.
“What did you mean you have your dad to thank for it?”
“Dad had a good job,” Molly replies. “He worked in advertising as an executive. It was one reason he drank so much and maybe one reason Mom was so forgiving of it. When he passed, he left us a lot of money. Enough for college. Enough for trips like this.”
