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I swallow. “Well, he was really funny. We got on so well. I didn’t feel awkward like I usually do, but he’s forty-two.”
Mom blinks and readjusts the camera. “Did you sayforty-two?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “I know. It’s a bit of an age gap.”
“Abit,” Mom repeats. “He’s twice your age. Exactly twice your age. If there were two of you and you added them together, that’s him.”
“I know whattwicemeans,” I say, back to the same old sarcastic routine.
Mom bites down, then sighs. “I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but you need to be very careful here. In my experience, there’s only one reason a man that old is interested in a younger woman, and it’s not for roses and romance.”
I almost tell her she’s wrong. I almost snap at her to mind her own business, but I offered this up. She’s allowed to have an opinion. “I know. I’ll be careful. I promise.”
After the video call, I lie in bed, eyes closed, trying to sleep. I can’t stop thinking about today. My body is flooded with adrenaline from the breakup and then meeting Duke. I wonder what Mom would’ve said if I told her my forty-two-year-old man is also Ryan’s dad.
I think of Duke at the bar, looking so strong and sharp in his suit. I think about the glint in his eyes when he looked down at me, the hunger making his muscles swell. Or maybe that’s just how he is in my fantasy.
It doesn’t matter. I can’t stop the fantasy now. We’re still in the bar, but nobody else is there. Nobody else can see us. He leans down, brings his lips to mine, and pushes against me. At the same time, he glides his hand up my leg and presses down on my sex over my pants.
I moan quietly, pushing my hand into my underwear, rubbing my clit as I imagine the texture of Duke’s lips. I imagine his breath getting husky and obsessed when he rubs me, quicker, harder, his breath hot on my neck as he kisses down my body.
In the fantasy, he starts sucking and kissing my nipples, massaging my breasts.“You’re the only woman I ever want. The only woman I’ll ever need. You and me, Molly. You and me…”
The fantasy flits and changes scene as the lust crashes into me. I’ve never felt my clit get this warm and tingly. It’s like the desire is bursting through my body. I rub faster, imagining Duke on top of me, his muscular body naked, his manhood gliding deep inside. There’s no discomfort, no nervousness, not in the fantasy.
He leans back, showing me his muscular chest, sweat dripping down his body as he pushes deeper and harder. I’m rubbing my clit so freaking fast now. My head is getting light. Everything burns in the best way. I’m shrouded in steam.
I love you, Duke says right at the end as the orgasm thunders through me. I bite down to stop myself from screaming, stunned at the force of the pleasure, and then immediately deflate when I remember I’m in bed alone. In reality, Duke is never going to say those words to me.
I shouldn’t want him to because of Ryan, and we only met tonight. Am I going completely insane? Maybe so, but I can’t stop it. I’m not even sure if I want to.
I check my phone, but still nothing from Duke. A moment later, I realize something. He made a point of askingmeto enter my number into his phone. Maybe that’s because he has no intention of calling me. Then why ask for my number to begin with?
I close my eyes and force myself to lie still. I’m getting way too ahead of myself. Plus, this isn’t about real connection. It’s definitely not about love. It’s about getting close to Duke long enough for Ryan to see us together. It’s about punishing that douchebag for every bad thing he’s ever done to me.
Still, as sleep finally takes me, I can’t forget the words, imagined or not.
I love you.
I can lie to myself all I want, but as nuts as it is, I wish he was saying that for real.
CHAPTERSIX
Duke
“Morning, Dad,” Ryan says, joining me at the dining room table. He looks hungover as hell, with big pits under his eyes and a groggy look on his face. He gestures toward the bacon. “Can I have some, please?”
“Of course.” I nod to the plate. “That’s why I laid out extra. Help yourself.”
We eat quietly for a while, and then he mutters, “I’m sorry about last night, and thanks… for not giving up on me.”
“You’re talking as if you’re some lost cause,” I reply. “You’re a smart boy. No, a smart man. You’ll be an engineer one day if you keep your mind on your studies and learn some humility and…” I stop myself and then try to laugh it off. “A lecture’s probably the last thing you want right now, huh?”
He smiles, looking just like the little boy I remember. “Yeah, but I get it. I know I need to do better. I need to stop drinking, I think.”
“Stop altogether?” I ask. “That’s a mature decision, especially from a college student.”
He stares down at his plate of bacon, chewing the inside of his cheek. “I’ve been drinking too much. Sometimes, I’ll even have a few drinks in the middle of the day for no reason, just because I feel like it or maybe because it’s easier than being sober. I don’t know.”
