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Just...no.
"Jonas, stop thinking about poop," she says, smiling, hands still on my cheeks. "I'm trying to have a romantic moment. Think about me instead. And about tonight and our bed."
"That worked," I say dazedly, images of her flushed, sweaty skin replacing any other thoughts.
"Good," she murmurs, tugging me down to her. "Now kiss me."
She barely has the words out before I comply. I will never not want Janey. I will never get tired of her taste and the little murmurs she makes when she's lost in us. I will never not give her what she wants.
All too soon, she's pulling back with flushed cheeks and shining eyes. I didn’t know what that meant before. It always seemed like a stupid saying. People don't shine. They're not spotlights or reflective. But now I get it. Janey shines. All of her.
I'm ready to kick everyone out of the apartment and take her to bed, when there's a banging at the window. Nick and Declan are there, noses pressed to the glass, giving us two thumbs up each.
Idiots.
Janey blushes, and laughs. She pulls back, and I fight, letting her go. She gives me a look that makes my pants tight, and my fingers go numb, then she's slipping away. The woman is wily.
Janey pushes the door open and shakes her head at my brothers. I think she's trying to scold them, but they're not getting it. They just smile bigger, and Nick throws his arm, covered by his favorite battered leather jacket, over her shoulder.
"Ah, my favorite sister-in-law."
I snort and peel his arm off of her. Declan pulls Janey away toward her Dad. I'll deal with him later. For now, Nick is my target. "I'm going to tell Becca you said that."
He pales, and grabs the front of my sweater, pulling me in tight. He's got ten seconds, then I'm knocking him out.
"Don't you dare! She can't ever know I said that." His face shifts. He's got a new angle. "You tell her, she's going to want to complain about me, and she'll want to talk it out. Who knows, she might even kill the messenger."
Images of Becca talking to me until my head explodes are far more terrifying than the idea of her beating me up. I'll take a beating over a conversation with her any day. Her brain is weird, and I always end up with a headache after talking to her.
"Fine," I bite off, slapping his arms to release his grip. I smooth down my sweater, making sure he didn't damage it. "This is my favorite sweater, asshole."
Nick's brow furrows. "You have a million of them."
I scowl at him. "I do not have a million. And this one is different. It's the oldest and the softest. That's not the point. Keep your arm off my wife. Why don't you go fondle Bree instead? You know you want to." I'm not proud of what comes out of my mouth next, but he drove me to it. "Bree and Nick, kissing in a tree. F-U-"
His hand slaps over my mouth, and I lick his palm. I learned that little trick from Becca, and it's surprisingly effective. Nick yanks his hand back and holds it up in front of him with a look of disgust.
"You suck, man."
"You'd like to suck..." I trail off, and we stare at each other, then both burst into laughter. "I have no idea where I was going with that," I admit.
Nick snorts and slaps me on the shoulder with the same hand I licked. I don't miss the way he wipes it on my sweater as he pulls away. "Ah, it doesn't matter. I'd like to suck anything of Bree's, as you've already noticed. I thought I was doing a better job hiding it."
"You look at her a lot. And she always stands next to you. And you spend a lot of time laughing together."
Nick crosses his arms, and stares out the window behind me. "All that's true. We're friends man. And unfortunately, I think that's all we'll ever be."
"Why not more?"
"She's spooked man. I don't know what else to say. She's had a shitty experience. Beyond shitty. Horrifying. Terrifying. She needs time to heal."
"So give her time. Then marry her."
Nick chokes, and laughs, shaking his head. "Just because you're married doesn't mean the rest of us have to be. Besides, can you imagine how that would go down? Me dating Bree? What happens if it doesn't work out? Family dinners would be awkward as hell."
I think about that. About Nick and Bree sitting next to each other, not speaking, not looking at each other. And the rest of us pretending they didn't used to date. "You are right," I tell him. "That would be horrible. Better to find someone else."
He smiles, but it's not a happy one. "Yeah. That's what I figured." He stares at the floor, frowning, then shakes his head. "That's life, isn't it? Sometimes, you just can't have what you want."
