Page 18 of Jonas

I relax my fingers from where they're gripping my purse. I let it rest on my lap as I stare out into the night. This is an expensive neighborhood. What would it be like to live in these houses? To have a kind man kiss me on the cheek in the morning. To have my own family to take care of. Imagining the busy rush of breakfast and school lunches makes me smile…for a second.

That life isn't for me. Dreaming that big and aiming that high just leads to disappointment.

"Things were going good,” I say quietly. He leans the tiniest bit closer. “Really good. Better than they've ever been. When I got promoted, I felt bigger. Like I could be more than I realized. So I downloaded that stupid app."

Jonas's mouth is pressed into a tight line. It's too dark in the car to see more, and I'm glad. This conversation is embarrassing enough. Having to look at him, as I explain all the ways I was a complete idiot, would be horrible.

"I've never been on a dating app before. But after a while, Keith and I started talking, then he asked me on a date. And for a while, it was really good. He paid me a lot of attention. He said nice things. He told me I was beautiful." I pick at the black leather strap of my purse. It's the first one I've owned that I didn't buy at a thrift store. A little splurge with my first paycheque after my promotion. Now I wish I'd never bothered. That eighty dollars could feed me for days. Of course, if it had been in my bank account, it would be gone anyway. At least I still have the purse.

"What then?" Jonas asks, voice low in the black between us.

"I thought everything was good. I was so excited to be in a relationship. And for a couple of months, it seemed like we were getting serious. But one morning, he dropped me off at work like normal, but he didn't show up to pick me up. I took the bus home that day, and when I got there, there was an eviction sign on the door." My throat feels tight. "It was an automatic withdrawal. I'd never had a problem before. I thought it had to be a mistake."

"But it wasn't."

I lean my head back, feeling stupid all over again. "No. The last two payments failed."

"And you didn't notice?" His disbelief is clear, and I guess I don't blame him. Of course, he'd never make that kind of mistake. He handles billions of dollars every day. And here I am, not even realizing I'd been stolen from.

"I would have noticed, eventually. But I always take out cash to spend. I...it's just easier for me than using a card. I had enough saved that all my bills should have been covered for at least six months, so I just didn't look." It took me years to build that safety net. And now, it's just gone.

"But the overdraft. The bank must have contacted you. It doesn't make any sense Janey."

I shrug. "I asked them. They said the number they had for me was out of service. And I think Keith was taking my mail." The out-of-service thing actually makes sense. I've changed my number a few times, mainly when I needed a break from Mark. It didn't usually work for long, but those few days of blessed silence were a relief I couldn't stop chasing.

"So he emptied your accounts? Anything else?"

"Umm, from what I can tell, he opened credit cards in my name and maxed them out. I haven't seen any statements, but they've managed to track me down by phone. They call a lot." My voice cracks. It's not the first time I've gotten collection calls, but I worked so hard to put that behind me.

He groans and rubs at his jaw. I’ve never seen him look like this. Rumpled, with dark bristles on his face. ”Jesus. Fuck Janey. I am sorry that happened. And I'm angry that it happened."

"That's how I feel too."

"I talked to Carlo tonight. I did not like him. He said he only let you leave with one bag. Where did you go?"

I shudder thinking of the glee on Carlo's face and his offer to 'help' me out with the landlord. I knew exactly what he was suggesting, and I wanted no part of it. "I drove to a cheap motel. I paid for a room for the night. I thought it was still a mistake at that point. After I talked to the bank and started getting the calls, I realized there was so much more that I didn’t know. I sold my car to pay off the overdraft at the bank, but the collection calls keep coming, and I couldn't afford to stay at the motel and pay them too.” I sniff quietly and blink, trying to chase away the tears filling my eyes. "It happened so fast. One day, everything was good, and two weeks later, I'm lining up for a spot at a homeless shelter."

"Fuck," Jonas yells. The rage in his voice makes me shrink back into my seat, pressing my back against the door. Rage like that can turn quickly.

I know.

He looks over at me and winces. "Janey, I'm sorry. The idea of you sleeping in a shelter for weeks is upsetting. I will control my outbursts." He grips the steering wheel tightly. I don't know for sure, but I imagine his knuckles are white. "I feel like a very bad friend. I did not realize you were going through all of this. At work you seemed different, but I didn't imagine this."

I let myself move away from the door and ease back into my seat. I give myself a few deep breaths to calm down. I've never seen this side of Jonas. He's always been so kind and attentive to me. Gentle. He normally treats me with more kindness than any man ever has, except when it comes to discussing Keith. And now, I can't really blame him.

I feel like I've learned more about Jonas in the last hour than I have in all the years I've worked with him. I had no idea he was capable of violence like I saw tonight. Seeing how efficiently he hurt Mark, maybe I should be scared.

I'm not.

Wary, maybe, but not scared. Jonas won't hurt me. I know it in my bones.

"It's ok. I tried really hard to keep things normal at work."

He nods again as he studies me. His gaze is penetrating. He didn't used to look at me like that. Before that night, Colton brought me to meet with them, and Jonas would say hello. He was polite. But it was clear he didn't really think about me. Some people are like that with receptionists, treating us like we're unimportant. But I watched Jonas. That wasn't the way he felt. It was more like he was always lost in his head, thinking of everything but what was in front of him. He seemed to drift through the office with blinders on.

I like the way he looks at me now better. It's not as comfortable, but being seen by Jonas is a precious thing, I think. And right now, he's looking at me like I've got two heads.

"It is not ok. Not at all. You are homeless." He exhales heavily, and flexes his hands on the wheel. "You did not come to me. Why? Explain it to me. Be specific."

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