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"I've been wondering the same thing," Maya says, lips pursed as she studies me.
My cheeks must be beet red. Though, if I'm honest with myself, I've been thinking a lot about Jonas. And his muscles. How can I not when the man walks around with no shirt on? He’s gentle and kind and sweet, and so sexy it’s distracting. I think about him way too much. I think about all of him. And ok, maybe I woke up sweaty and turned on this morning, dreaming about making up with Jonas. In my dreams, the man knows exactly what to do with his tongue.
We all stop to watch Jonas carefully scoop lava hot cookies off the tray into his brother’s hands, then his. They toss them from hand to hand, then in unison, throw them whole into their mouths.
Zach caves first, spitting his back into his hands with a wheeze. I "ewww", as he waves his hand up and down, then plops the half-chewed cookie back into his mouth.
"Maya, your boyfriend's a gross pig," Becca mutters in disgust. I slap my hand over my mouth to hide the laughter as Kade spits his cookie out into his hand.
"Jesus Fuck, that's hot," he yells. His lips an inch from the mangled cookie, he blows with all his might, then sticks his tongue out to test the temperature. Seemingly satisfied, he sucks the whole thing back in his mouth.
Maya turns her head slowly and pins Becca with a look that makes my shoulders shake. In the few days I’ve lived here, I’ve laughed more than I have in the last ten years. I really like my new family.
Becca scowls and shivers in disgust. "No way is he getting laid tonight." She pauses as Kade lifts his shirt to fan the cookies on the trays, exposing a very attractive six-pack. "Well, maybe, but he'll have to do all the work," she amends.
Jonas slowly begins moving cookies to the cooling racks. "The pans have to cool completely before you scoop the dough," I remind him. I'm sure that's up in that big brain of his already, but I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot, thanks to the two giant distractions beside him. He smiles at me and nods, then turns his intense focus back on the cookies.
"I wonder if he'd bring that kind of focus to the bedroom." Crap, did I say that out loud? Judging by the looks on the girl's faces, yep, I did.
"Oh, we are so going to talk," Becca says, pulling me off the stool into the living room. She drops onto Jonas's white couch and groans. "Oh my god. This is like sitting on a cloud." She lays back and wiggles. I wait, but she doesn't speak, seemingly in a stupor.
Maya laughs and sits close to me. "She's obnoxious but easily distracted, apparently."
"Apparently," I echo as faint snores come from Becca's prone form
“So, how are things going, really? This has all happened so fast."
I wish people would stop saying that. It's exactly what I'm thinking, but when other people say it, I end up feeling like I've made a big mistake. "Yeah, it's been a whirlwind."
Maya's smile drops. "Did I say the wrong thing? I'm kinda new at the peopling thing. We don't have to talk at all. We can just nap. Do you want a nap? I could use one. This Christmas thing is no joke. I did my shopping online, and I'm still exhausted. Do —“. I put my hand on her knee, stopping her rapid flow of words. She covers it and looks at me with damp eyes.
"I was so worried about you,” she whispers. “When Jonas arrived on Friday night and told us you weren't living at your apartment anymore, my brain went to some very dark places."
"I'm sorry," I whisper back, throat tight from holding back my own tears. I didn’t think about how my friends would feel. I really didn’t. And now? I feel so bad about making them worry.
"Why? Why didn't you come to us? Why didn't you let us help you?" The hurt lacing her words is hard to hear.
"I just...it felt like I shouldn't. Like I couldn't." Maya leans forward, gripping my hand even tighter, as though she can't bear to miss a word. "I knew you would have helped, but it just snowballed."
"What do you mean it snowballed?"
As I answer, I stare down at our hands, too embarrassed to look her in the eye. "I believed his lies, Maya. I believed he loved me. I believed that we were building something. I honestly thought it was a mistake at first. I thought I messed up paying my bills. I used to do that all the time, so it seemed like the likely answer. It never occurred to me that Keith stole from me."
"But once you realized, you still didn't come to us," she says quietly.
Gently pulling my hand from hers, I lean back into the couch, hugging a cushion to my chest, pressing against the ache there. "I thought I could fix it. I thought if I could just talk to him, it would all be ok. That no one ever had to know I was so stupid."
"You're not stupid," Maya says fiercely, hands fisted. Her immediate defense of me is soothing but she's wrong. I was all kinds of stupid. Probably still am. Seriously, what rational woman's response to being scammed by one man is to marry another?
I give her a weak smile. "Maybe. But I ignored a lot of red flags, and I paid dearly for it. I thought I could get myself back on track. And I was doing ok...mostly ok, for a while. It just all fell apart on Friday."
"Do you believe in God?" Becca asks, making me jump. Her eyes are still closed, and up until a second ago, she was still making snoring noises.
"Have you been awake this whole time? Do you snore when you're awake?" I ask, honestly confused by this woman. "Have you talked to your doctor about that?"
She waves her hand in the air dismissively. "Stop dodging the question."
"I don't really know how to answer that. I wasn't raised with any religion. I'm not sure what I believe."
