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Abby studies John's face. "You're Colton's brother, Joker."
He nods, studying her just as seriously. "I was Joker. I'm not anymore. John. Or Johnny."
She tilts her head. "Which do you prefer?"
"My mom and Colt called me Johnny. No one else. I prefer John."
She gives him a thumbs up. ”Ok, John, nice to meet you. I'm Abby. I'm new to this nuthouse." She extends her hand with a smile, waiting patiently for him to wrap his huge hand around hers. He releases her immediately, but Abby seems unbothered. "So, you killed a guy, spent almost twenty years in prison, and now you're out and in this big family. How's that going to work? I'm guessing the skills aren't all that transferable. Are you good? Or are you going to flip out and run through the building with a chainsaw? "
John's mouth drops open. I get it. Abby's asking an admitted murderer things I'm sure everyone's been wondering but wouldn't dare to ask. Also, chainsaw?
"For fuck's sake, woman. Do you have a death wish?"
Abby just grins at him, making him shake his head. Every set of ears in this room is focused on this conversation and invested in the outcome. "I killed one guy when I was a kid. I didn't plan it. I don't plan on doing it again. I just want...peace."
Abby throws her head back and howls with laughter. We all stare at her, bemused. Finally, she wipes her eyes. “Oh, my god. I hate to break it to you, but if you're looking for peace, you're in the wrong place. I've only been here a little while, and already I've witnessed several moments of complete chaos. These boys don't do normal or peaceful. It's loud and crazy, and they seem to have no concept of personal boundaries.”
John turns to the men in the kitchen, who startle and again look at the ceiling. Why do they do that? They couldn't be more obvious.
"That true?” he asks
They trade glances, then, as if they're connected by one brain, nod solemnly. "We don't mean to be, but yeah, we're a lot," Colt admits. Zach, Kade, and Jonas continue nodding, looking like a bunch of bobbleheads.
Under the island, John's hand curls into a fist on his lap. He blows out a big breath and stares at the smooth white of the quartz countertop. "I...I've lived in chaos for a long time. I really don't want more of it."
I'm moving before I realize it. John's body tenses, but he doesn't turn until I stop next to him at the island. "I'm Janey," I say, smiling, but not offering my hand. The man looks on the verge of a complete overload. "The guys are busy with the cookies. How about I walk you down to your new apartment and help you get settled?"
Jonas's eyes are burning a hole in the side of my face, but I don't look at him. Right now, John needs me more. For the first time in days, I know exactly what I need to do.
"Yeah," John says quietly. "Let's go."
23
JONAS
I wait as long as I can, before leaving my apartment and running down the two flights to the thirty-fourth floor. It's not that I don't trust John.
Okay, yes, it is. I don't trust him. He's been in prison for a long time and even hurt, I have no doubt he's dangerous.
I don't want her alone with him.
This floor has four apartments we own. They were vacant for a couple of years until Evie came along. Then Cara and Bree. Then Maya and Abigail. There's life here again.
I stop at the door to the apartment Colt's fixed up for John. It's still got the corporate standard furniture, but I'm sure Colt's added a few things to make it homier.
"It's overwhelming, isn't it?" Janey says. I stop just outside the open door, wanting to hear more. I know the last couple of days have been a lot, but I thought she was adjusting.
"Overwhelming. That's a big word." John's words are low, nearly growly. Is he angry? Or maybe it’s pain. He’s still not talking completely clearly.
"What word would you use?"
"Fucking annoying. Loud. Nosey."
I hear the smile in Janey's voice. "Those all work too. It's going to take time to adjust to life here." Her words soften as she continues. I lean forward, trying to catch them all. "I can't pretend to know what being in prison is like, but I know a little something about being in a completely unfamiliar environment. I've worried about falling asleep in case something bad happened. I spent a lot of nights laying awake, worrying, and feeling completely out of control of my life. I don't know if you've felt like that too?"
"Sometimes," John says, his voice quieter.
She makes a low sound. ”Colton's excited you're here, but it's okay if you're not feeling the same way. The rest of the guys will follow your lead."
