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Cara folds her arms over her chest, and raises an eyebrow at me. "You've been down there three times already, and it's not even lunch. You have to give her some room dude. You're smothering her."
"I am not smothering. She can breathe perfectly fine."
"Nice try. You know exactly what I mean. It's our first day back at work. Just let her settle in."
"She seems to be settled in just fine," I grumble. Leaning on the wall outside my office. Being here, with the noise of everyone working is jarring after the bubble Janey and I were in over the holidays.
"And that bothers you? Shouldn't you be happy that she's doing well?"
"Maybe."
"And maybe, you're having a hard time and that's why you're really going downstairs. Not to check on her, but to get your fix. You're a love junkie Jonas, just admit it."
I settle for glaring at her, and reluctantly heading back into my office. I swing the door shut, but it doesn't close.
Great. She followed me.
"I'm just teasing," she says softly, dropping into the chair across from my desk. I lower myself into my chair, and pick up my stapler, liking the weight in my hand. I'm unsettled today, and I don't like it.
"I know you are teasing. You are not wrong. I thought my obsession with Janey would be soothed by having her in my home, but it's not. And now that she's out of my sight, it's worse."
"Why do you think it's worse?"
I shrug, and stare at my fingers, spinning the stapler end over end. "Simple answer? Our relationship is not settled. Once she has fully committed to being my wife, then I will stop thinking about her."
Cara laughs softly and crosses her legs. "Hate to break it to you, but that's not how it works. When you love someone, you think about them more, not less. She's always going to be on your mind."
"But...like this? I'm still having trouble focusing. This distraction isn't good for business."
Her eyes widen dramatically and she grips the arms of the chair. "Are you telling me you're fumbling the ball? Did you lose a bunch of money? Make a ton of mistakes?"
"I do not fumble my balls. My ball handling skills are impeccable." Cara throws her head back and laughs. She has a nice laugh. It's bold, and loud. It's a laugh I've grown quite fond of. "No, I haven't made any mistakes. I'm just not used to this. To having my attention split."
"Can I offer an unsolicited opinion?"
"When have you ever not?"
She sticks her tongue out at me, making me smile, then continues. "I think you're partly right. Things between you are unsettled. But it also seems like they're going well?"
"We enjoyed one another's company over Christmas."
"Enjoyed? Or enjoyed?" She adds a little eyebrow wiggle, making her meaning clear. My face heats, which annoys me and makes my words come out a little harsher than I intended.
"We are not enjoying each other like that. Janey felt more comfortable staying in her room at night." The first few nights, I didn't mind. The last few nights of the holidays, I may have stood outside her bedroom at night. Not all night. I'm not a creep. But...maybe an hour or two.
"That's fair. But you're working on intimacy in other ways, right? The teasing touches, and the flirty glances?"
"I touch her all the time. And I look at her a lot."
"Good. That's good. And does she touch you?"
"Yes," I say, thinking of all the casual touches she gives me each day. They're like rain filling up a dry well. I drop the stapler onto my desk and stand. "I need more touches."
I head for the door, Cara's laughter following me. I don't care. I think I figured it out.
The staff on the HR floor stare, and whisper, but I'm focused on Janey. She's in her office, bent over a stack of papers, a little frown on her face. Her hair is shiny and wavy, back to cascading over her shoulders. I haven't seen her in a braid since before Christmas. She looks rested, and healthy, if a little frustrated.
She rubs her forehead, and squints some more at her paperwork. I stop at her office door, admiring her, content to let her notice me in her own time. She's reading aloud slowly, and my heart clenches. She sounds so unsure, stumbling over the words. Reading a sentence, then scowling and trying again. She finally groans, and drops her head into her hands.
