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“Weddings are stressful. Remember how bad I was at mine, I panicked whenever anything went wrong or changed. But I will tell you something, I have no idea what my songs were. I can just remember walking down the aisle to meet Luke and our first dance. I just remember the happy feeling I felt all day, and how my face hurt when it ended as I spent the entire day smiling.”
His eyes lowered again as I let go of his hand, wondering if he was taking my words in. I slightly remembered my first dance song with Luke, it was a James Blunt song that Luke absolutely loved and would play all the time.
“I should apologize.”
“Yes, you should.”
One thing about Joe that I always loved was he was always quick to admit when he was wrong. Well, at least with everyone else, his big sis not so much. I was always the one to blame when he did something wrong and got away with it. We had many arguments as teens because of it. It didn’t help that we were so close in age either.
“Would you ever get married again?”
Sam took Joe's seat and I looked at him shocked at his sudden question.
“I’m not asking, don’t worry! If I were to ever ask, it wouldn't be in your parents living room.”
“Ha ha, umm – Maybe.”
I had no idea why I became so flustered when he asked. The truth was, I hadn’t even thought about sleeping with another person after Luke, so I was surprised to even do that. Maybe marriage again, one day, but not for many years.
“Dinners ready!”
Mom shouted from the kitchen and as always, dad was the last one to join us in the dining room.
“Sam, you’re sitting next to me.”
Mom commanded as she took her usual seat next to the head of the table, where dad sat. Sam was stuck in between her and Joe who sat at the other end. I didn’t think of this situation, I thought Sam could sit next to me and mum would have asked Beth to sit next to her, like she normally does. Instead, Beth sat next to me and still looked angry.
“Beth, whatever happens on your wedding day is going to be perfect,” I whispered to her as she took a sip of her wine.
She gave me a small smile in return, and we waited for mom to say grace. Although we weren’t that religious, this was something we had always done since I could remember. Thankfully Sam went along with it.
“So, Samuel, are you officially back in town? Or are you just planning to visit again?”
Round one. Mom.
“For the moment, I will be here for a few days. After the wedding, I will be back and forth to the rink, finishing the training on the hockey team as well as overseeing the charity match preparations.”
“I see. Will you eventually move back here? That is if you stay with Kim.”
“That’s for Kim to decide what she wants to do; I will go wherever she wants me to.”
Point one to Sam as mom mmm’ed and cut into her chicken. Her eyes found me from across the table and they didn’t seem at all warm or welcoming. Shooting a look then towards dad, he drank his glass of beer and cleared his throat. Obviously next up on the interrogation.
“Do you have any plans to retire then? Ice hockey isn’t that big in our little town, which would only mean you’d be traveling a lot.”
“Again, it would be up to Kim. I don’t plan to retire anytime soon as long distance can work.”
“Until it doesn’t,” Joe piped in, unexpectedly.
“Why is my relationship up for discussion at the dinner table anyways? Sam can do whatever he wants, as can I. If we want to be together, the least you guys could do is support us.”
I didn’t like how this conversation was going already. I just wanted to be happy. I hadn’t been happy in a long time. Even when Luke was ill, I knew eventually I’d face his death and when it happened, it took my breath away and I felt my life fall apart. I’ve slowly been building it back up ever since and Sam just fell into it.
“We are just worried that you will get hurt again, Kimmy. He left you before and he will do it again.”
“Mom, we were what seventeen? You can’t judge Sam for something he did ten years ago. We’ve grown up since then, and we both moved on. And somehow we’ve managed to find each other again. This is all new and exciting and you don’t know the truth of what happened that night.”
“Kim, it’s okay.”
